Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

My work is done.  I have spent the last 2 days cycling down the length of Lake Constance and along the Rhine, then 5000ft up to Davos.  This last bit was done in temperatures in the low 30's and got me glowing like a pig.  Finally, I turned around and cycled back down 5000ft to Bad Ragaz for a triumphal and lavish last dinner.  Since this is Switzerland I actually had self assembly ham sandwiches and a yoghurt from the supermarket...   15 quid! I had decided to take the train to Zurich today.  The ride would only be 65 miles but I would be pretty sweaty and pungent for the flight home and, anyway, I'm due a rest. I popped into the Tourist Office to enquire about the train.  The girl quizzed me about which of  many entitlements to discounted travel I had access to........precisely none as it turned out.  She sucked her teeth a bit and told me it would be no problem getting myself and bike on a train but it would be very expensive.  When a...

It was with some sadness that I crossed into Switzerland this morning.  France is mostly a fine country.....if they just sorted out the opening hours and put seats on public toilets they would really have something.  Now I have a whole new set of annoyances to rant about.  There are so many that I don't know where to begin so I'll just focus on the REALLY BIG ONE........f@#k it's expensive! I am staying above a very modest pizza place about a mile out of Stein Am Rhein, nothing fancy, and for tea I had a mixed salad, a pizza and 2 beers.  The bill was FOURTY SIX swiss francs.....about £36!!!!.  I know the cretins who voted to leave the EU haven't helped but it would still have been pretty lumpy at the pre-BREXIT rate.   Everything is expensive.....everywhere.  Go into any shop, pick any item and guess the price.  You can cheat and add a big bit onto your true guess and you will still be on the light side.   Today was a moderate...

I had planned to file a blog last night but: 1/ After 102 miles and what turned out to be 6000 feet of climb I was too pooped and 2/ I had just caught up with the news and it didn't feel like the time to crack jokes at the expense of the French!!!   How on earth does any society protect itself from radical zealots who aren't afraid to die?  (I have some ideas but should probably keep them to myself).  I found the choice of weapon particularly chilling - at least guns and bombs are harder to come by! Not that anyone gives a toss but I am in quiet rural France and in absolutely no danger.  As hinted earlier, yesterday was a ball-breaker, and I retired to bed laughably early to nurse my broken balls.  It will give you some idea how tired I was if I tell you that I left a can of beer unopened!  On the other hand I did eat 8 Creme Caramels (you cannot buy small quantities of anything in LIDL). Today is a new day.  The sun is shining and after about 30 somew...

Remember me?  I think that last time I filed a blog I was in France.  Well, guess what?  Yup, France again. To bring you up to date: I led a 'camino' from Bilbao to Santiago then a top to bottom of Portugal.  Next was a Pisa to Sicily trip during which I went to Pompeii (though that is not the reason for the song) and got shot (ok, technically not actually shot but you would never know looking at the scar).  And now I am back in France checking out a section of route from Paris to Klosters in the foothills of the alps.   I have covered a creditable 160 miles in 2 days and am in Bar-Sur-Albe in the middle of Champagne country.  And now I can reveal the reason for the song.....it is Bastille Day (if you can't get the link there is no hope for you). Naturally, being a public holiday, France is closed in a way that citizens of most countries cannot begin to imagine.  If 'being closed' is ever an Olympic event the French are a cert for gold.  I am...

Having finished last night in Menton, close to the Italian border I am now slowly cycling back to Nice for a flight back to blighty. Yesterday was a cracking ride, packed full of songs: Can the Cannes The coastal ride from St Raphael to Cannes is world class.  Twisting with stunning views and just enough climbs to keep it interesting.  Cannes itself is glamerous and has a superb seafront cycle path so you can gawp without worrying about the traffic. No More Mr Nice Guy Next stop was Nice and another superb cycle path.  I stopped for a snack and had a hankering for Nice bisquits but it seems they don't sell them (which is clearly missing a trick!)  I made do with choccie digestives instead. The Chain (bit of lateral thinking needed here) The last big place before the border is Monaco.  Having never been there I did a bit of research: 38,000 citzens packed into less than a square mile (the most densley populated country on earth) 30 percent of the inhabitents are ...

Lost In France The route I am checking was created in the comfort of my home using Google Maps which has a 'cycling' mode that avoids busy roads and favours cycle paths.  This would be great but for the fact that Google thinks that all bikes are mountain bikes.  I have spent much of the last 3 days scrapping mud and sand out of my mechanical bits then searching for a viable alternative.  This is really piling on the miles and yesterday ended up well over 100 to create 75 miles of route.  Bugger. If I Could Talk To The Animals I'm  not saying the French are animals but suitable song titles aren't easy you know.  My French is pretty poor but I enjoy giving it a go.  Tonight when checking in to a hotel in Martigues I only got as far as 'Je m'appelle' when the receptionist told me she spoke perfect English so maybe we should use that.  I was a bit miffed but it made sense.  What made no sense was when I returned to order dinner and the same girl ...

As a child I remember being fascinated by the ghost train when the fun fair came to town.  It was pretty pathetic, and not at all scary, but how did they get such a long ride in such a small space? The twists and turns in the track created a journey length out of all proportion to the square feet used.  I'm guessing that the architect who layed out the latest floorplan at Stanstead Airport must have been a ghost train fan too.  After clearing security you walk for about 9 miles, through every department of duty free and then every other retail outlet, before eventually being released into the small remaining space where everyone  crowds around the departure board.  This really pisses me off! Yup, I'm off on my travels again.  This time I am in the South of France, researching a new route from the Spanish to Italian borders along the Med coast.  I am currently in Portbou, just over  the border in Spain, luxuriating in my €23 hotel room.  I hav...

Thank god that's over!  No, not the trip but the bastard hills for the last 20 miles! I had a hunch that today might be difficult and I was spot on.  What I hadn't factored in was the weather - the temperature gauge read well into the hundreds but it felt even hotter.   Imagine cycling with your head in a fan oven and you are getting  close. We had a nice flat 60 miles with just the heat to contend with, then the hills started.  It was essentially one big hill but with many rises and falls and the last 2 or 3 were real sods.  Eventually, at 85 miles, we reached the top and enjoyed a 5 mile plunge down into the outskirts of Adelaide. So, another trip done and 2100 miles tucked away in the 2016 savings account. I have enjoyed Australia, mainly the pies but everything here is pretty good.  I can't help thinking they should have shipped all the law-abiding people to Australia and let all the sheep-stealers have the UK.  The riding has been tough but m...

Last night we had take-away fish and chips followed by several gallons of ice-cream and sat watching the sun set over the ocean.  It was calm and warm and very relaxing. This morning dawned  cloudy but very hot.  The first  clue as to what the day had in store for us came when I turned on the Sat Nav.  The turn by turn instructions for our 90 mile day read: 'Ride to End Point'.  These instructions turned out to be unecesserily complicated. For the first 52 miles the road was arrow straight and flatter than the flattest thing you ever saw.  We climbed 100 feet!!!  A quick stop at the only services and then another 38 miles on a very slightly less flat and straight road brought us to Meningie at the base of the Younghusband peninsula. We have been riding across salt flats all day, along the edge of a huge salt water lagoon and are now tucked up in a cabin beside Lake Albert.  I am very glad to be off the bike and my arse is even gladder. Tomorr...

Thanks to yesterday's heroic 96 miles we were due a short day today.  However, studying the map, we saw a more scenic coastal route which we decided to follow.  As a consequence we ended up with a regulation 82, but a glorious ride on flat, smooth quiet roads.  We popped into 2 small seaside villages for 2nd breakfast and 1st lunch which added another 8 miles but it was still an easy day.  Better still, after 5 days of cool weather, the sun has got its hat back on.  Since I am solar powered this is very welcome. We have only 2 days to do but a stiff 180 miles so no chicken counting just yet. The song?  We are staying in Kingston SE.  The  SE indicates that this is a superior version of towns called Kingston......one with velour upholstery and mock-walnut door cappings. Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.