Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Thank god that's over!  No, not the trip but the bastard hills for the last 20 miles! I had a hunch that today might be difficult and I was spot on.  What I hadn't factored in was the weather - the temperature gauge read well into the hundreds but it felt even hotter.   Imagine cycling with your head in a fan oven and you are getting  close. We had a nice flat 60 miles with just the heat to contend with, then the hills started.  It was essentially one big hill but with many rises and falls and the last 2 or 3 were real sods.  Eventually, at 85 miles, we reached the top and enjoyed a 5 mile plunge down into the outskirts of Adelaide. So, another trip done and 2100 miles tucked away in the 2016 savings account. I have enjoyed Australia, mainly the pies but everything here is pretty good.  I can't help thinking they should have shipped all the law-abiding people to Australia and let all the sheep-stealers have the UK.  The riding has been tough but mainly due to the long days

Last night we had take-away fish and chips followed by several gallons of ice-cream and sat watching the sun set over the ocean.  It was calm and warm and very relaxing. This morning dawned  cloudy but very hot.  The first  clue as to what the day had in store for us came when I turned on the Sat Nav.  The turn by turn instructions for our 90 mile day read: 'Ride to End Point'.  These instructions turned out to be unecesserily complicated. For the first 52 miles the road was arrow straight and flatter than the flattest thing you ever saw.  We climbed 100 feet!!!  A quick stop at the only services and then another 38 miles on a very slightly less flat and straight road brought us to Meningie at the base of the Younghusband peninsula. We have been riding across salt flats all day, along the edge of a huge salt water lagoon and are now tucked up in a cabin beside Lake Albert.  I am very glad to be off the bike and my arse is even gladder. Tomorrow is the last day; 90 miles and a c

Thanks to yesterday's heroic 96 miles we were due a short day today.  However, studying the map, we saw a more scenic coastal route which we decided to follow.  As a consequence we ended up with a regulation 82, but a glorious ride on flat, smooth quiet roads.  We popped into 2 small seaside villages for 2nd breakfast and 1st lunch which added another 8 miles but it was still an easy day.  Better still, after 5 days of cool weather, the sun has got its hat back on.  Since I am solar powered this is very welcome. We have only 2 days to do but a stiff 180 miles so no chicken counting just yet. The song?  We are staying in Kingston SE.  The  SE indicates that this is a superior version of towns called Kingston......one with velour upholstery and mock-walnut door cappings. Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

While we were digesting our bbq last night we had a little visitor.  A koala came and sat up a tree right outside our verandah and stared at us while the sun set. Today was due to be a peasy 65 to Mount Gambier but we stetched this to a more impressive 96, ending in Millicent, South Australia.  Our day has been mostly flat, through mile after mile of planted forest and their has been an abundance of wildlife including a  cheeky kangeroo who just sat at the roadside to watch us pass.  We also saw emus and a cock or two.  On  tonights campsite we are promised the spectacle of the owners' dog chasing possums up trees! I looked at the elevation profile just now and it is almost 200 miles to the next hill :-) Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble give a whistle, and things will always turn out for the best. Wise words! This morning was completely crap....cold, drizzling, dull scenery and a harsh busy road.  We only had 65 miles to do and it was a good job because I hated every minute.  For the icing on the cake the last 10 miles were done into a big headwind.  For the candles we arrived in Portland to find almost no availability for 3 bedded rooms and the only thing we could get was a cabin at a very lumpy £85. Then things turned around.  Our cabin turned out to be a palace, new, spacious and with a lovely deck and bbq overlooking the ocean.  Then we were given a pack of sausages and had splendid sausage sandwiches for a late lunch while we showered and did our laundry. Finally, as we headed out to the supermarket for dead cow, bugger me.....a Koala up a tree at the entrance to the park.  Apparently there is a family of 5 and they sometimes play on the fence outsi

If you are comitted to using song titles in your blog and you go to Australia you are immediately exposed to an ethical dilemma. Can you, or can't you, use songs from Rolf's back catalogue?  I have decided I can but should stress that I still think he is an odious little perv. Last night I had a pizza the size of a bus steering wheel in our cabin in Apollo Bay.  I washed it down with a cheeky little red that set me back £2.50 and could happily have sold for ten quid in Sainsburys.  In fact, volume for volume, wine is cheaper than beer here (AND A GOOD DEAL BETTER). This morning a BASTARD time departure meant we caught a cracking sunrise before doing our biggest hill yet - 3000 feet of climb over 25 miles.  This was knocked off with only mild whimpering and we went on to do a mighty 100 miles and 6500 feet of climb.  We even managed to cover the last 30 at  good pace thanks to a modest tailwind.  We are now in Warrnambool, at the western end of the Great Ocean Road with 1640 mil

For about the last thousand miles people have been asking us if we plan to take 'The Great Ocean Road' and telling us we will love it.  Today, about 20 miles west of Geelong we we finally got there.  It is, without a doubt, very lovely but: 1/  we have already seen similar stretches of coast in NSW 2/ the route was packed with tourists and tourist buses.  You have never seen so many selfie-sticks! 3/ i have ridden California's Big Sur so my wow-meter is pretty discriminating 4/  we had a 25mph headwind for much of the ride and i was too busy being grumpy to look half the time So......nice but not one of the 7 Natural Wonders. Light My Fire (bonus track) As previously mentioned, HIGH is the 2nd lowest fire alert status.  In the last  couple of days i have had two insights into what this actually means: 1/  at Barry's home he has a sodding great tank in which he collects rain water.  He also has a heavy duty petrol-engined water pump.  If his house is in the immediate pat

We ventured into central Melbourne 3 times in all.  The first, as already reported, was to take in the festival but the following day we took the train in and played tourist.  A literal high spot was a trip up the Eureka Tower, the tallest structure in the Southern Hemisphere though I think someone is currently throwing up something even taller.  A slightly quirkier part of the day was our lunch in a Hari Krishna canteen.....eat all you want for £3.50! The next morning we returned for the 3rd time, on fully loaded bikes as we resumed our journey.  The cycle route we took is world class, on dedicated paths for almost 50 miles.....all the way into, through, and out of central Melbourne.  At times the path was slung beneath the elevated motorway, at others on floating pontoons on the river and sometimes through quiet meadows.  These is no better way to traverse a major city! We ended our day on a respectable 82 in Geelong, a city somewhat down at hill after the demise of its steel industr

Forgive me Father for it is over two days since my last confession. Weak After our 117 mile day we were feeling pretty heroic but next morning it was a very different matter.  We only had about 65 to do and it was a very good job because I was weak as a kitten.  Hills were taken at walking pace and, with the thermometer back in the hundreds, it was a sobering reminder that there is still a fair way to go. In The Middle of The Night Our destination for the day was Yarram, a very small town which, it turned out, was staging its annual show.  In other words.....no rooms available.  Bugger.  We have been hauling tents for 1300 miles for just such an emergency so put up our erections in the town 'tourist park' (camp site). I have no problem with camping but was unprepared for the nocturnal sound effects.  At some point in the night a possum came sniffing round the tents and there was a whole orchestra of other noises to keep us on our toes.  At dawn a Kookaburra started up from abou

My steak last night was excellent.  Don't worry, I did have some veggies too. On Sunday we are due to stay with a friend on the outskirts of Melbourne.  Our itinerary makes the day to his house a chunky 90 miles and he lives up in the hills so it would also require a fair climb.  We decided that we would try and stretch today to shorten the next two and it was the perfect opportunity - lovely flat terrain and a decent tailwind. We were magnificent.  I have never ridden 117 miles with panniers before (and never will again, hence the song) but here we are, rehydrating in Yarram a full 45 miles past our scheduled stop.  The terrain really did its bit to help; yesterday we climbed 6000 feet in 70 miles, today it was less than 3000! I am now a teeny bit pooped but glad to add this to my meagre list of heroic rides. My Melbourne friend has sourced a new front brake so I just have to manage for 2 more days using the toes of my shoes as brakes! Ozzie Dictionary Pie:  similar in concept to

I have received a complaint about the lamentable standard of the typing in this blog.  Don't blame me, blame Samsung.  Whilst spelling is not my strongest suite most of the mistakes are due to the Souh Koreans.  It seems that you must have fingers like toothpicks these days and as for Samsung's auto-correct......a complete pile poo! So,  we survived the Cann River Hotel and set off for what promised to be a long hilly day and......it was lovely.  Plenty of climbs but with long gentle grades, lots of cool shade and good surfaces made for a cracking ride and we did our 83 miles to Lakes Entrance by 2:30.  We have our best value ever accomodation - a lovely cabin for just $90 and we have a gas BBQ in the garden so we have purchased steaks the size of baseball gloves for tea. The song?  Well, I stopped to tweak my gears a couple of miles back and managed to fall over in a big tangle with the bike.  Somehow i have managed to fracture my front break caliper and the nearest replacemen

We had a great afternoon and evening in our luxury cabin and even managed to catch a flock (heard?....shoal?) of  kangeroos nibbling the grass on the local sports field. This morning it was up and out at 9:00 BT and a day of  changes: Firstly, we are no longer heading southish but have turned a literal corner and are heading more or less due west. Secondly, we are now inland, paralleling the Wildernes Coast which lives up to its name by having no coastal road. This also means we are away from civilisation; we rode through the rainforest all day and this included a 60 miles stretch with no services AT ALL. Thirdly, we are now in Victoria, a state that seems to have devoted its entire road safety budget to posting helpful signs informing you of things you might otherwise not know.  For example, we now know that if you fall asleep while driving you might crash.  Who would have guessed? Finally, after our night of cabined lovliness we are now in a 35 quid room......err, no not room......sh

Running Up That Hill Today was, in Bike Adventures parlance, 'a bit lumpy'.  Up and down like a stripper's knickers!  We did a mere 60 miles but climbed 6000 feet.  We are back on BASTARD time and it is el scorchio so it was a testing little ride.....for me at least, the other two shits seem happy enough :-(. Over the last 3 days we have traded a proper rest day for shorter rides.  Tomorrow it is back to full length days and there are plenty more hills to come.  Gulp. Stuck in the Middle With You Guess what? We are half way!!!!  This seems less magnificent when we look at our progress on a map....go on, try it; get a map of Australia and look at the stretch from Brisbane to Edan, NSW.  Pathetic isn't it? Our half-way treat is a splendid cabin right next to a pool.....and all for £56! Ant Music We have seen quite a lot of wildlife but easily the most common are termites.  We pass their mounds constantly.  I read somewhere that the total mass of the planet's ants is a