Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

A difficult day!  We overslept this morning and it was a mad scamble to get on the road.  We followed tha A1 as far as Kemsey before cutting away on a minor road to the coast.  We even saw 'roos tiday! Everything was qoing swimmingly until we asked the lady in the bakers where we had lunch for some route advice.  She persuaded us not to take the intended road but, instead, to take the coast road which was 'unpaved' but ok to cycle. Well, it turns out that 'unpaved' means 'where they do the destruction testing on Land Rovers'.  At one point, and this is not an exageration, we had to push the bikes for 3 miles including through 2ft deep sand drifts.  We were knackered, low on water and 110.5 had popped up as the temperature.  It was grim!  Although never really in any danger it sort of made me realise how people end up dead in Australia.  We are older and wiser and will act accordingly for the rest of the trip.   We are in Port Macquarie, a few miles behind sc

This is yesterdays blog which dissapeared into the ether.  The day in numbers: Miles ridden: 88 Hills climbed:  chuffing loads Maximum temperature: 106.7 Litres of water cosumed: 6 Wees taken: 0 Giant bananas passed: 1 So, in summary, a long, hot, hilly day.....but with a giant banana. Last night we went to an 'eat all you want' chinese buffet.  Things were going fine but as we were tucking into tenths the manager came out and begged us to leave. The day's ride started with 50 wonderful miles on a quiet backroad over rolling hills to Coffs Harbour, home of the giant banana, then it was back on the A1 for a fast, efficient but dull 38 to Macksville.  We stayed in the Star Hotel, a lively spot by the river and THE place to be in Macsville on a Saturday night.  They even had bouncers. We are taking  bets on what the next 'giant' thing will be.  My colleagues reckon my guess has no chance! Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

An exciting day....the first where  Neil has not had a puncture!  On the other hand, I missed having a little sunbathe while he sweats, heaves and curses trying to fix it.  I suppose I could lend a hand but.......... Last night we had  magnificent steaks; they were priced at 31 dollars  but with a 10 dollar off deal.  For reasons we don' t begin to understand they ended up costing just 17 dollars....9 quid!!  This helped to off-set the eye watering price of the beer. Our day started with an ocean voyage across the Clarence River, which we then tracked all the way to Grafton.  80 pan flat miles in temperatures that peaked at 103.5.  We all found it tough and we hope that we we soon adjust to the heat.  Today was our first experience of the dreaded A1, the main non-motorway artery running south.  It waan't the lovliest riding but there was a generous shoulder and the miles passed quickly.   We got into Grafton in the nick of time as the heavens opened.  We are now rehydrating on

Last night we finally got 8 hours of good quality sleep and we set out this morning in high spirits.  After a few miles along the coast we turned inland and the scenery changed dramatically - suddenly we were in rolling green hills with patches of woodland.  It was very lovely but quite hard work with a long series of 300 foot climbs.  My two companions seemed unaffected but I found them very sapping. An opportunity for lunch came back on the coast in Byron's Bay.  From here it is only a short detour to the lighthouse that marks Australia's easternmost point.  So I sent the other 2 to take a photo while I had a leisurely lunch.  Byron's Bay is a hip and happening place,  full of surfer dudes, hippies and other wastrels.......I didn't like it! We are now in Ballina and I can finally explain today's song.  If you have ever read Bill Bryson's Down Under you may remember his fascination with Australia's giant fibreglass creatures used for advertising.   Well....

So, day 1 of our 2000 mile journey is done.  We arrived in  Brisbane mid-evening on Tuesday, with just enough time to re-assemble bikes and pop to the 'pub' (see Ozzie Dictionary).  This one was actually the local bowls club bar.  The rest of the world will be completely unaware that Tueday was Australia Day - a national holiday - and so were we as the number of drinkers in the pub was....... 4.....the 3 of us plus Ash.  Now, if you were a passably pretty 23 year old girls drinking alone in a pub and 3 smelly, travel-stained old men walked in what would you do?   What Ash did was puĺl up  chair at our table and tell us her life story.  Admittedly she was completely smashed! We slept well but too briefly and started our journey.  It was mostly fantastic.  We followed a spiffy little cycle path along the river out of Brisbane and then spent much of the rest of the day on cycle paths or, at least, dedicated cycle lanes.  We really are pitifull at this stuff in the UK. Once we got

13 hours is a long time to have to sit next to someone with severe flatulance.......or so the guy sitting next to me informed me.  The  beer we had last night before setting off from Heathrow was a particularly aromatic brew!!! We are now kicking our heels in Singapore before the last push to Brisbane.  We should make it to our hotel at about 9pm local time and will saddle up a mere 12 hours later. There is always a degree of aprehension in the last few hours before a big trip but everyone is looking forward to me being out in the fresh air! Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Now that the turkey has been digested and blood is seeping back into my alcohol system I am faced with the gloomy prospect of a couple more months of miserable weather before the new cycling 'season' starts.  For the last three winters I have hidden from a good chunk of this in New Zealand; a wizard wheeze but it is time for a change.....so, I am off to Oz. Australia is a big place so don't go expecting any 'end to end' nonsense.  Instead I am riding the 'civilised' Pacific coast from Brisbane to Adelaide (still a chunky 2000 miles) taking in Sydney and Melbourne along the way.  Pleasingly this will be my 3rd 'Pacific Coast Highway'.  I have two chums for the trip: Neil who has accompanied me on several previous adventures including both of last year's biggies, and Chris who is another Bike Adventures tour leader.  As usual, I will be the least fit of the three so you can expect some whinging from this particular Pom. We leave on