Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

17 Mile Drive in the sunshine is one for the scrap book and this morning could not have been more perfect.  The route starts with the cycle path through Monterey then onto deserted roads along the beautiful coast before diving into the gated community built around Pebble Beach golf course.  Houses change hands for $40-50 million and up...a ludicrous sum but even sillier once you realise these are mostly the 2 nd  or 3 rd  homes of the megarich.  I would have given a kidney to be riding today! The grand finale is a ride through Carmel, once the mayoral seat of Clint Westwood and now an immaculate Stepford Wives collection of expensive boutiques and high-end eating-places.  27 sweaty cyclists were about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit! Two of our group visited the golf club and have somehow secured a tee time for 6:20am tomorrow morning.  The cost of this is so painful that I cannot persuade either of them to actually speak it out loud....

I have mentioned several encounters with local PD support groups; but today we scaled new heights.  A leading light in a local support group, who is also a World Parkinson Conference Ambassador, has been communicating with me for months to prepare a hero's welcome for us.  I was just expecting Ferrero Rocher* but she had laid on considerably more than just funny nutty chocolates.  She had commandeered the library in Marina, CA where local PD support volunteers had prepared a welcoming party, complete with banners, a groaning table of free food (my favourite sort) and a little schedule of speeches including a welcome by the Mayor.  A couple of local people living with PD and 3 of our own group spoke quite movingly about their personal journeys with the condition and how the physical therapy, emotional support and sense of purpose that these cycling challenges brings has changed their lives.  For a brief moment I vowed to go easier on them but it didn't last. ...

Slow Hand Our group now totals 28 and last night we had our first group dinner.  To streamline this we pre-ordered, but it was still well over an hour before any food appeared.  The first people to get their dinner were finishing by the time the last person was served.  The staff were grafting but the waiter to hungry customer ratio was way too low! Price Tag I am accustomed to everything in Merica costing more than the advertised price but last night my $28 meal cost me $38!!!!  There was the tax, the tip, the large group charge, the tax on the tip, the use of a chair fee and christ knows what else.  After I picked myself up from the floor I presented my card and was told that would be another 3%.  I paid cash and will be sulking for a good few weeks. It's back to raw eggs from here for me! Something Better Change Of the 28 in the group, 23 are riding and it is already starting to feel like herding cats.  Having agreed ...

  Forgive me Father, it is some time since my last confession.  Last time we chatted I was in Ocean Cove eating raw eggs. Into The Valley (FRIDAY) Just a reminder that the majority of my group lives with Parkinsons.  If you think it's just a bit of a shaky hand do some reading on it.  On Friday they rode 90 miles and climbed over 5000 ft...the toughest ride of the trip by a country mile.  The fact that they did it all is impressive, but they did it with a smile and not a word of complaint!  Over the years I have seen plenty of riders finish that day in considerably less style. We ended in Mill Valley, just a stone's throw from The Orange Gate Bridge.  Our motel sat beside our nemesis - US101 - which, by then is 5 lanes in either direction and busy as hell.  It was as charming as the location suggests but everyone was too bollocked to care.  On the plus side it features a surprisingly good Indian restaurant...good by UK standa...

Leaving Dog Crap Villas we first made a compulsory side trip to the Chandelier Drive Thru Tree for tacky tourist photos.  Our film crew got the footage they wanted and it was nice to devote even a few minutes to something other than getting the miles done. We then turned onto Highway 1, THE Specific Coast Highway.  A sensational climb over 2 chunky hills delivered us back to the ocean (we have been inland for 2 days) and it was a short day into Fort Brag where I took a rider to the local hospital to get some riding pains investigated.  That is my 2 nd  visit to that particular hospital in recent years, but they didn't seem to remember me.  This is no great surprise but in 2 of the hotels we have used the receptionist HAS remembered me...probably not in a good way! Today should be a tough one with almost 80 miles and 5000ft of climbing but they have a magnificent tail wind and it looks like they will all be done in good time.  I was looking forwa...

I managed to delegate the big responsibilities for cooking last night and just played a supporting role.  Everybody got fed and I heard no complaints so I'll call that a success.  There was a large communal fire pit and, after dinner, our film crew were keen for some shots of us sitting round the fire talking bollocks...so we obliged.  I rummaged around in the woods for some kindling then set fire to a fair chunk of a giant redwood that was sitting in the log trunk waiting.  The night in Redcrest Resort is always a memorable one and I think it delivered again. Today we did another 26 miles along the Avenue of The Giants ending with a lunch stop in Garberville, a place that distinguishes itself by having more homeless people, hippies and general weirdos than usual.  This despite the bar being set pretty high in Northern California. If California were a country in its own right it would have the 4 th  or 5 th  largest economy in the world....

Yes, I have used this song before.  Possibly several times, but I really have no more craps to give. Last night we stayed in Arcata, a nasty little town whose population mostly seems to live out of grocery carts in the shopping mall parking lot.  Our hotel, the Ramada, is one of a cluster around an intersection on US101 and lays enviable claim to the title 'worst Google ratings of the whole trip'.  I have stayed there before and can verify that the rating is well-deserved.  The actual hotel is fine- clean and functional - but they have an afternoon receptionist who is spectacularly awful...probably the worst I have ever met, and I have met some real turds.  We stay there because at least the hotel lacks the drug dealers and hookers that loiter in the lobbies of some of the others.  So, as you may imagine, my hopes weren't high as I entered reception. In fact the manager was on duty and he was polite, helpful, efficient.  My gast could not h...

Norwegian Wood We are now in the Redwood National Park, a day away from the real  bigguns but still quite redwoody.  Along the way are any number of tourist businesses trying to cash in on the whole 'big trees' thing.  The first 'attraction' as you enter the park is called Trees of Mystery, basically a woodland trail designed to showcase the natural splendour of the forest.  And what says natural splendour better than a giant model of a lumberjack and a bull?  Maybe I'll try and compile a list of all the places since I can tell you are interested  Everybody Hurts Our group is slowly compiling a list of the sort of ailments that inevitably arise on a long distance ride: strained tendons, foot problems, sore arses.  I have made a sort of universal 'salve' from whatever comes to hand: mainly grease; cream cheese and energy gels.  I have added a couple of crushed Fisherman's Friends to give it a medicated smell and I am handing it out...

You can't get much more Merican than a big old Harley or a V8 pickup truck and I can appreciate the appeal of both as iconic Americana. What I will never understand is why they have to be so sodding loud.  This is not an inevitable bi-product of the type of engine used....Honda make whisper quiet v-twins and a V8 Rolls Royce is virtually inaudible. I assume the loudness is just a deliberate big 'f*ck you' to the world...a bit like dressing as a punk in the late 70s.  However, when a truck roars past making my ears bleed I don't  think 'oh wow, what a cool dude'.  I just think 'TWAT'. Today was a sunny Saturday on a scenic part of the coast and the good ole boys were out in force, roaring up and down in their 3 ton penis extensions.  It is certainly NOT a coincidence that these happen to also be the worst drivers for sharing the road with cyclists.  Passing a bit close is the best we expect, a few expletives hurled from the window is routine, and d...