Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Today we cycled up a hill and are staying in a castle...what other song could I use? (This is a rhetorical question, please don't bombard me with suggestions). Having been promised an early dinner last night the food turned up at 9pm.  I have been quite restrained on this topic lately but it really is a major obstacle for hungry touring cyclists.  As always the food was pretty good but the house red wine was spectacularly awful.  When we got the bill we discovered it was 1 euro 20 a glass which explains a lot! Looking at the numbers today should have been easy but it wasn't.  It was, essentially, one long hill, climbing gradually towards Zafra and our castle.  Bizarrely, the bit we enjoyed the most was the final few miles when it stopped pissing about and became a proper hill. We are staying in a Parador, one of a network of historic buildings (castles, monasteries, convents, palaces etc) that are now run as hotels, with the income used to prese...

Those of you who know me best are probably worrying that I'm going soft. My blog has been pretty rant free so far, but today that all stops. At many of our hotels there have been tour bus parties, and these are always a pain in the arse,  insisting on doing everything en masse: check-in, get the elevator, eat breakfast, check out.  When their desire to do these things clashes with mine it REALLY pisses me off.  To make matters worse, these groups are not made up from a normal cross-section of the public.  They comprise almost entirely elderly Spaniards and mostly, let's cut to the chase, women.  If you have met any elderly Spanish women you may have some insight into my pain.  They talk.  A lot.  Incessantly. Their need to constantly witter AND be heard creates a sort of arms race where each old biddy raises their voice to be heard over the cacophony.  It can make your ears bleed.  This morning we hit a perfect storm w...

We are in Caceres, a town we know quite well as it marks the intersection between last year's west to east ride and this one.  We stayed here last year, and also in 2023 when we had to quit and fly home when hit by freak low temperatures. Having ridden for 7 consecutive days we are treating ourselves to a day off.  Neither of us is remotely interested in sight-seeing so we spent the morning doing nothing them strolled into the old town for cervezas.  A couple of beers in the sunshine later and we strolled back for more doing nothing.  Our day is entirely focused on it's grand finale...drum roll...A CHINESE BUFFET. We have been and checked it out and we now just have to find some way to occupy the 5 hours until it opens. *I'm particularly pleased with this one!  I'll admit I used Google to find it....Harry Nilsson since you ask.

Cold As Ice I believe I have previously shared my 'ultimate cycle touring tip' with you and yesterday afternoon we put it to good use.  The little grocery store near our hotel sold good beer or cold beer but no good cold beer.  So...grab a few cans...hide them in the freezer behind the choc ices and head to a bar.  Sip a cold beer at bar prices then return to the shop, liberate the (now cold) beer and retire to the hotel. I make no charge for these incredible life hacks but if you want to show your gratitude please lodge some money in my name at the nearest bar to the Holiday Inn, Gibraltar. Spice Up Your Life While we sipped our cold beers and patted ourselves on our backs for our cleverness we scouted the local restaurant scene and concluded that our best bet was Indian.  It got very good reviews, was nearby and, crucially, opened at 7:30.  Actually, if I'm honest, the big draw was that it also appeared that the waiters wore funny costume...

Tears of joy....a real gem of a day.  But first to wrap up yesterday:  the local public holiday in Bejar meant that our choices for dinner were limited and we settled on a small local's bar/restaurant for no better reason than it was open.  The place was busy and we stuck out as strangers rather more than I would have liked but we settled in and as soon as the waitress had served us each a generous bucket of Rioja we started to feel at home.  We had another fantastic, inexpensive meal and we are becoming real fans of 'ensalada mixta' as an appetiser...a groaning plate of fresh salad items with olives, tuna, eggs and a generous pour of olive oil with white wine or balsamic vinegar.  So....today.  I had plotted a road route of about 50 miles with 3500 of climb but, at the last moment, I noticed what appeared to be a bike path running the entire way.  Some research established it was a converted railway line, unpaved but traffic-free and sa...

Last night we were really big brave boys and went to a proper Spanish restaurant for some proper Spanish food.  I ordered in my best Spanglish and was pleasantly surprised when food turned up that almost exactly matched what I thought I had ordered.   The meal was excellent, substantial and inexpensive. This morning we had decided on a late start to wait for warmer temperatures, and this turned out to be a good plan as we woke to find we both had flat back tyres.  We pissed around for an hour fixing those, taking the opportunity to replace Plum's broken spoke while the wheel as off, and it was almost 10:30 before we turned a crank.   There is a point on these multi-day rides where I start to find my rhythm and I think, for this trip, it was today.  It doesn't get any easier....I just become accustomed to it being hard.  It was a short day (46 miles) but with plenty of climbing, including a vicious 14 per center at the very end.  I p...

If you thought the American diner was a poor eating choice you will be appalled by where we ate last night.  Villalpando is a small place with very few dining options, the best of which was our own hotel.  However, the restaurant wouldn't open until 8:30 and nobody spoke a word of English and we decided it would just be too much work.  So, we went to the motorway service station.  In our defence this is a superior experience to Watford Gap (an infamous UK equivalent for my readers from the colonies) and we had a very nice chicken and chips washed down with a glass of tinto.  Those of you who like to pass an evening in a foreign town strolling in a pair of chionos with a jumper draped casually across your shoulders before mingling with the locals in a charming little place the hotel recommended will not understand us.  But then you have no idea what it is like to have a big calorie deficit that needs repaying lickety spit. Today we set out on our big ...

Since we are in Spain where else would we go to eat than an American themed diner?  This is not (quite) as stupid as it sounds: 1/  We needed calories and nobody does calories like the Americans 2/ The place was so authentically American that it ignored the Spanish dinner laws and was open at 7pm We were finished so early that we called into the hotel bar for a glass of tinto on our way back to bed.  We had a glass of very good, and extraordinarily cheap, Rioja and the waitress presented these with a generous plate of Tapas which we duly forced down despite already being pretty full.  Our bill for this extravaganza?...  5.7 euros! This morning we had industrial trouble with the Amalgamated Legs and Related Cycling Parts Union.  The ALRCPU shop steward informed us that his members were not happy with their working conditions vis-a-vis yesterday's monster hill.  I explained that his members were, technically, OUR members....which didn...

This is the obvious lazy pick for a song but for our newer readers I should remind you that sometimes the connection is to the artist not the song. Last night we ended up at the pizzeria immediately next door to the hotel....an easy, lazy option. The pizzas were large enough to use as bus steering wheels and the house Rioja was inexpensive so we were happy.  We even managed to save a little pizza for today's lunch. This morning we rode up a hill.  My sex wasn't on fire but my legs definitely were.  It was a 16 mile climb but the really horrible bit was the last 8.  These 8 miles started with mostly 6-8% grades, which fast became 8-10%, then 10-12%, then 12-14% and, as a final grand kick in the testicles, we had a bit of 17-18% before we finally reached the top.  Hardest hill I have done in a very long time and done hauling full touring gear.  I didn't walk and I didn't cry but it wasn't pretty. The remaining 40 miles were mostly down or fla...