Mr Sandman

By -

A difficult day!  We overslept this morning and it was a mad scamble to get on the road.  We followed tha A1 as far as Kemsey before cutting away on a minor road to the coast.  We even saw 'roos tiday!

Everything was qoing swimmingly until we asked the lady in the bakers where we had lunch for some route advice.  She persuaded us not to take the intended road but, instead, to take the coast road which was 'unpaved' but ok to cycle.

Well, it turns out that 'unpaved' means 'where they do the destruction testing on Land Rovers'.  At one point, and this is not an exageration, we had to push the bikes for 3 miles including through 2ft deep sand drifts.  We were knackered, low on water and 110.5 had popped up as the temperature.  It was grim!  Although never really in any danger it sort of made me realise how people end up dead in Australia.  We are older and wiser and will act accordingly for the rest of the trip.  

We are in Port Macquarie, a few miles behind schedule thanks to the stupid bitch from the bakers.  We have had pizza and LOTS of recovery drink.

Time for bed.

Ozzie Dictionary

OH YEAH?:  An expression that literally means 'is that so?' But which can be nuanced by subtle facial expressions.  For example:

Ozzie: 'so were are you heading mate?'

Me: 'adelaide'

Izzie: 'oh yeah?' Said with a slight lift of one eyebrow

In this exchange the term 'oh yeah' actually means 'jeez mate, you must be out of your f@#$/^g mind'.  We hear it a lot!


Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll/Mr Tamborine Man/I Write The Songs

By -
Image
  After an 18 month separation Plum and I are reforming the band for another tour.  The two of us, plus 6 others, are heading up to Scotlandshire for another crack at the North Cost 500.  I should probably introduce the full line-up:   Lead Singer - David.  David is the young(er) pretty one.....brother of John.  David also happens to be my Financial Adviser and is funding this trip (plus a yacht and a cocaine habit) out of what he makes from my account.   Lead Guitar - Nick.  Friend for 50 years.  At school Nick was a keen cyclist and consequently, quite rightly, bullied.  Nick has forgotten more about cycling than I will ever know.   Bass Guitar - Stuart.  Stuart and I worked together for many years; he has powerful legs and can push out big watts while looking like he is coasting.  I hate Stuart.   Keyboards - Michael.  Michael is also younger but not pretty.  Michael believes that upgrading cycle compone
Read more

If I Could Turn Back Time

By -
Image
If ever you are in the Inverness area on a Friday and looking for a lively night you could do a lot worse than avoid Muir of Ord.  Our hotel, the only pub, wasn't serving food so we walked into town where it appeared that Steven Spielberg had just finished filming some sort of post-apocalypse movie: nothing open, nobody on the streets and the odd bit of tumbleweed blowing along the pavement.  Even the fish and chip shop couldn't be arsed to open...on a FRIDAY NIGHT!  We managed to find a take-away offering a rather odd choice of kebabs and curries (served in pizza boxes for added novelty) and purchased some food which made up for in calories what it lacked in food-hygiene standards.   I recall a meeting where a few of my co-riders and I met to kick around ideas for a group ride.  We considered all sort of destinations....mostly in those parts of Europe where the weather isn't consistently shite.  I'm ashamed to say that I think it was I that th
Read more

Julia's Song

By -
Image
As some readers will know, Plum is no longer Chard's most eligible bachelor.  The lovely Julia has taken on the job that Social Services would otherwise have to do....making sure he changes his pants once a week whether they need it or not and loading routes onto his Garmin.  We are all very grateful to Julia, especially Chards most eligible bachelorettes who can get back on the dating scene now Plum is safely off the market. As we were starting our trip Julia fell, dislocated her foot and broke her Tibia so she is probably missing Plum more than usual. She has insisted that the show should go on so thanks for being such a trooper. Today was another with a shortcut that promised to turn a very hard day into something more manageable.  Some of our group took the high road and others took the low but I had a more cunning idea.....get in the van.  Whatever is ailing me, long covid or acute spinelessness, reached the point where pushing the pedals just w
Read more