Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Having finished last night in Menton, close to the Italian border I am now slowly cycling back to Nice for a flight back to blighty. Yesterday was a cracking ride, packed full of songs: Can the Cannes The coastal ride from St Raphael to Cannes is world class.  Twisting with stunning views and just enough climbs to keep it interesting.  Cannes itself is glamerous and has a superb seafront cycle path so you can gawp without worrying about the traffic. No More Mr Nice Guy Next stop was Nice and another superb cycle path.  I stopped for a snack and had a hankering for Nice bisquits but it seems they don't sell them (which is clearly missing a trick!)  I made do with choccie digestives instead. The Chain (bit of lateral thinking needed here) The last big place before the border is Monaco.  Having never been there I did a bit of research: 38,000 citzens packed into less than a square mile (the most densley populated country on earth) 30 percent of the inhabitents are ...

Lost In France The route I am checking was created in the comfort of my home using Google Maps which has a 'cycling' mode that avoids busy roads and favours cycle paths.  This would be great but for the fact that Google thinks that all bikes are mountain bikes.  I have spent much of the last 3 days scrapping mud and sand out of my mechanical bits then searching for a viable alternative.  This is really piling on the miles and yesterday ended up well over 100 to create 75 miles of route.  Bugger. If I Could Talk To The Animals I'm  not saying the French are animals but suitable song titles aren't easy you know.  My French is pretty poor but I enjoy giving it a go.  Tonight when checking in to a hotel in Martigues I only got as far as 'Je m'appelle' when the receptionist told me she spoke perfect English so maybe we should use that.  I was a bit miffed but it made sense.  What made no sense was when I returned to order dinner and the same girl ...

As a child I remember being fascinated by the ghost train when the fun fair came to town.  It was pretty pathetic, and not at all scary, but how did they get such a long ride in such a small space? The twists and turns in the track created a journey length out of all proportion to the square feet used.  I'm guessing that the architect who layed out the latest floorplan at Stanstead Airport must have been a ghost train fan too.  After clearing security you walk for about 9 miles, through every department of duty free and then every other retail outlet, before eventually being released into the small remaining space where everyone  crowds around the departure board.  This really pisses me off! Yup, I'm off on my travels again.  This time I am in the South of France, researching a new route from the Spanish to Italian borders along the Med coast.  I am currently in Portbou, just over  the border in Spain, luxuriating in my €23 hotel room.  I hav...

Thank god that's over!  No, not the trip but the bastard hills for the last 20 miles! I had a hunch that today might be difficult and I was spot on.  What I hadn't factored in was the weather - the temperature gauge read well into the hundreds but it felt even hotter.   Imagine cycling with your head in a fan oven and you are getting  close. We had a nice flat 60 miles with just the heat to contend with, then the hills started.  It was essentially one big hill but with many rises and falls and the last 2 or 3 were real sods.  Eventually, at 85 miles, we reached the top and enjoyed a 5 mile plunge down into the outskirts of Adelaide. So, another trip done and 2100 miles tucked away in the 2016 savings account. I have enjoyed Australia, mainly the pies but everything here is pretty good.  I can't help thinking they should have shipped all the law-abiding people to Australia and let all the sheep-stealers have the UK.  The riding has been tough but m...

Last night we had take-away fish and chips followed by several gallons of ice-cream and sat watching the sun set over the ocean.  It was calm and warm and very relaxing. This morning dawned  cloudy but very hot.  The first  clue as to what the day had in store for us came when I turned on the Sat Nav.  The turn by turn instructions for our 90 mile day read: 'Ride to End Point'.  These instructions turned out to be unecesserily complicated. For the first 52 miles the road was arrow straight and flatter than the flattest thing you ever saw.  We climbed 100 feet!!!  A quick stop at the only services and then another 38 miles on a very slightly less flat and straight road brought us to Meningie at the base of the Younghusband peninsula. We have been riding across salt flats all day, along the edge of a huge salt water lagoon and are now tucked up in a cabin beside Lake Albert.  I am very glad to be off the bike and my arse is even gladder. Tomorr...

Thanks to yesterday's heroic 96 miles we were due a short day today.  However, studying the map, we saw a more scenic coastal route which we decided to follow.  As a consequence we ended up with a regulation 82, but a glorious ride on flat, smooth quiet roads.  We popped into 2 small seaside villages for 2nd breakfast and 1st lunch which added another 8 miles but it was still an easy day.  Better still, after 5 days of cool weather, the sun has got its hat back on.  Since I am solar powered this is very welcome. We have only 2 days to do but a stiff 180 miles so no chicken counting just yet. The song?  We are staying in Kingston SE.  The  SE indicates that this is a superior version of towns called Kingston......one with velour upholstery and mock-walnut door cappings. Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

While we were digesting our bbq last night we had a little visitor.  A koala came and sat up a tree right outside our verandah and stared at us while the sun set. Today was due to be a peasy 65 to Mount Gambier but we stetched this to a more impressive 96, ending in Millicent, South Australia.  Our day has been mostly flat, through mile after mile of planted forest and their has been an abundance of wildlife including a  cheeky kangeroo who just sat at the roadside to watch us pass.  We also saw emus and a cock or two.  On  tonights campsite we are promised the spectacle of the owners' dog chasing possums up trees! I looked at the elevation profile just now and it is almost 200 miles to the next hill :-) Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble give a whistle, and things will always turn out for the best. Wise words! This morning was completely crap....cold, drizzling, dull scenery and a harsh busy road.  We only had 65 miles to do and it was a good job because I hated every minute.  For the icing on the cake the last 10 miles were done into a big headwind.  For the candles we arrived in Portland to find almost no availability for 3 bedded rooms and the only thing we could get was a cabin at a very lumpy £85. Then things turned around.  Our cabin turned out to be a palace, new, spacious and with a lovely deck and bbq overlooking the ocean.  Then we were given a pack of sausages and had splendid sausage sandwiches for a late lunch while we showered and did our laundry. Finally, as we headed out to the supermarket for dead cow, bugger me.....a Koala up a tree at the entrance to the park.  Apparently there is a family of 5 and they sometimes play o...

If you are comitted to using song titles in your blog and you go to Australia you are immediately exposed to an ethical dilemma. Can you, or can't you, use songs from Rolf's back catalogue?  I have decided I can but should stress that I still think he is an odious little perv. Last night I had a pizza the size of a bus steering wheel in our cabin in Apollo Bay.  I washed it down with a cheeky little red that set me back £2.50 and could happily have sold for ten quid in Sainsburys.  In fact, volume for volume, wine is cheaper than beer here (AND A GOOD DEAL BETTER). This morning a BASTARD time departure meant we caught a cracking sunrise before doing our biggest hill yet - 3000 feet of climb over 25 miles.  This was knocked off with only mild whimpering and we went on to do a mighty 100 miles and 6500 feet of climb.  We even managed to cover the last 30 at  good pace thanks to a modest tailwind.  We are now in Warrnambool, at the western end of the Grea...

For about the last thousand miles people have been asking us if we plan to take 'The Great Ocean Road' and telling us we will love it.  Today, about 20 miles west of Geelong we we finally got there.  It is, without a doubt, very lovely but: 1/  we have already seen similar stretches of coast in NSW 2/ the route was packed with tourists and tourist buses.  You have never seen so many selfie-sticks! 3/ i have ridden California's Big Sur so my wow-meter is pretty discriminating 4/  we had a 25mph headwind for much of the ride and i was too busy being grumpy to look half the time So......nice but not one of the 7 Natural Wonders. Light My Fire (bonus track) As previously mentioned, HIGH is the 2nd lowest fire alert status.  In the last  couple of days i have had two insights into what this actually means: 1/  at Barry's home he has a sodding great tank in which he collects rain water.  He also has a heavy duty petrol-engined water pump.  If ...