An American Trilogy

By -




Call Me

Mericans have silly names, often assembled from non-name words.  Take the manager of our hotel who calls himself Houston Hatfield.  Clearly NOT a name.  Imagine calling yourself Birmingham Chipping Norton....you would, deservedly, be bullied at school.

And as for Otis Spunkmeyer.....

Fast Car

Our day to Gold Beach passed with only one minor brush with the emergency services.   I got a garbled message from one of the group and set off to see what the problem was but, in doing so, managed to attract the attention of a local squad car who wanted me to explain my hurry.  It is a pity he didn't say 'where's the fire?' because I could have replied 'room 112 Shelton Inn..but don't worry, its out now'.  I was polite and respectful and he told me to sod off, only more slowly.

Californication

I particularly like it when the song connects to the blog in multiple ways:

1/ after our rest day today we are heading into California

2/ last night we had Mexican with Jalapeño peppers that caused tears on their way in and again on their way out

Comments

  1. Anonymous6 September 2023 at 03:12

    Happy travels, old friend. Can wait to read of your travels and travails down the PCH.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rage Hard

By -
Image
Leading a tour down the US West Coast isn't the worst way to spend 4 weeks and it has many compensations.  The weather is lovely, the scenery is off the scale and you get to drink magnificent craft beers and eat well.  Putting out the odd fire and springing pillocks from jail is all part of the sport. BUT, and it is a big but (you get a lot of big butts in Merica), the daily hotel check-in is absolutely the worst thing.  Regardless of how carefully you have checked the reservations there is a clenching of the buttocks as you approach reception.  Today the first contact was good....they had all 15 rooms and cats were allowed.....but they weren't ready.  No problem, I was 30 minutes early.  30 minutes later.....still no rooms.  Cyclists were arriving; hot, tired grumpy cyclists.  The receptionist had run out of fucks to give several years ago.  I asked to see the manager.  Out walked a thing that was once the manger but was now a barrel of lard with a head.  We exchan
Read more

Now That's What I Call Music Volme 4

By -
Image
Won't Stop Running/Golden Brown The 24-hour dysentery that has been working through the group has now reached me.  Bugger. Invisible  When making any on-line transaction in Merica is necessary to provide a telephone number and a valid zip code.  If paying by credit card this must match the zip code the card is registered to.  There is absolutely no provision for anyone without a US phone number and a card registered to a US address.  It's like non-Mericans don't exist or, maybe, just aren't worth bothering about. Some hotels and supermarkets have devices to scan photo-id. You've guessed it....these only recognise US driving licences.  For hotels you have to piss off and find your passport and in stores you have to wait while the manager is called to authorise the purchase.   We should retaliate and only serve Mericans in the UK if they can correctly pronounce Leicester Square. Wonderful Copenhagen Today we have ridden
Read more

Drinking in L.A

By -
Image
We are starting to entertain the very remote possibility that we will make it to the Mexican border! It continues to be an uphill struggle with mechanical and logistical challenges but we battle on. On Tuesday night our hotel was several miles from restaurants so we cleared a few seats in the van and sent out the simplest of instructions......form yourselves into a group of 6 and another of 7, decide whether you want to go to the harbour or downtown and pick a time.  What could possibly go wrong?  We had groups of 4, groups where most wanted the harbour but others wanted downtown, both groups wanting the same time...........I finally got off duty at 9pm, another 14 hour day! Yesterday we rode down through Malibu, Santa Monica and Venice Beach, the latter portion on a superb bike path through the beach.  Despite some heavy traffic in Malibu everyone enjoyed the day and we all arrived in Redondo Beach in high spirits.  Despite an already very high bar in terms of hotel in
Read more