Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Today was a re-run of yesterday but with much lower temperatures, a bigger and more direct head wind and no gorge.  When I write my book, to be called My 100 Favourite Rides, today isn't getting a chapter.   Again, it SHOULD have been an easy day but the headwind had other ideas.  Our 12mph target average went out the window and, instead, we averaged 10.7.  Tortoises get close to that. We are now in Requena,  just 45 miles from Valanecia, but no poultry counting yet.  We are promised more favourable winds for tomorrow and, after some ominous forecasts recently, it looks like we will stay dry.  This is good because when we get into Valanecia we have to trudge round the bike shops in search of a couple of cardboard boxes to pack the bikes for the flight home. Hang on in there...one more blog and the whole awful business will be over for you! Bonus track - Somewhere Only We Know I'm going to share...

On paper today looked like an easy one.  Unfortunately, we didn't ride it on paper but on tarmac...into a sodding great headwind.   55 miles, 2800 feet and the option of a 6 mile saving via a shortcut all seemed very doable but today was our 12th consecutive day of riding and the toll is starting to tell.  Then there was the bloody headwind...forecast as 10mph but actually more like 15 with gusts to 20.  The decision to take the shortcut was taken before we were even out of sight of the hotel, but it was still a hard ride. The highlight, in a day that badly needed one, was a sensational descent through a gorge.  This was especially gratifying because we would have missed it had we not taken the shortcut. We are staying in Montilla Del Palancar, a farming community where it is much easier to buy a plough than pint.  We have played Check-In Charades and are settling down for the usual 5 hours of drinking before dinner is s...

They really got us last night!  We turned up in the bar at 7:30 for a snifter before the promised 8pm restaurant opening.  At 8pm the restaurant was still in darkness so we had another wine.  8:30....ditto.  At 8:40 someone at another table sauntered to the bar, grabbed a menu and ordered his dinner.  It turns out they serve food in the bar in the evening and we could have ordered 40 minutes ago.   We eventually got some food at 9pm.  This is starting to make me cross! Today really couldn't have been lovelier.  The morning started several degrees warmer and we started shedding clothes within the first couple of miles.  The striptease act is coming on well but we are still finding it quite difficult removing our bib shorts in an alluring fashion. It was lumpy terrain but markedly more scenic than the plains of the last couple of days.  The miles rolled by and the sun shone and shone.  Even a 4 mile bott...

TAKE IT TO THE MAX SO....the great Dinner Law Loophole: It wasn't really a loophole, we just found a place that must be run by the brother of the Chief of the Dinner Laws Police.  He raised his shutters at 6pm and stood there, arms folded, with a look that said "What the f@#k are you going to do about it sunshine?". It only sold burgers and pizza and wasn't exactly the place to celebrate your Silver Wedding Anniversary but 6pm!!!!  This left us in the rather novel position of having finished dinner before bedtime.  We were in Alcazar de San Juan which isn't exactly a buzzing town, and Sunday seemed to be especially sleepy, so our search for a lively bar drew a blank.  Instead, we invested €3 in a very acceptable bottle of tinto and went back to our room for some TV. There is NO English speaking TV in Spanish hotels!  Instead, we watch DMax which has English content dubbed into Spanish.  This means we watch old favourite...

We were magnificent at the Wok Buffet.  In fact,  the owner came to our table to show us the bills for his kids' college fees and beg us to leave.  An unexpected bonus was that when we wocked up, at 8:15, expecting a wait...it was already open.  If the dinner laws police get to hear about that there will be trouble! After the 2 hardest days of the trip we had a pair of easy days to look forward too.   Today was still 64 miles but just 1600ft of climb and  we were more than ready for a lazy day.  When we set off the temperature was 4 degrees C and we were in full winter mode, but the sun shone all day and we gradually removed layers as we rode.  As a striptease act I think it still needs work.  Today was Sunday so no shops open so we sat on a roundabout and ate rations that we shopped for yesterday evening. We have been a bit taken aback by how little English is spoken along our way.  In the bigger hotels we a...

I am a bit of a worrier, and cycling time is when tend to mull over whatever are my worries of the day.  Happily, I am currently in a lull where the big worries are either behind me or too far ahead to catch my attention, so I have spare thinking time to apply to advancing humankind.  The other day I was spinning my legs and thinking what an amazingly efficient machine a bloke on a bike is.  But then I thought "ahh, but is he?". A grown man (for simplicity we will put me in that category) burns about 4500 calories on a full day of cycling with some hills.  The fuel for this (based on a vaguely 'normal' diet) costs about £7.  In scientific papers it is important to expose your calculations to peer scrutiny so:  the weekly shop for Mrs Wesson and I comes to about £100.  Some of that goes on toilet paper, haemorrhoid ointment and other non-essentials but let's say about £5 per person per day for food.  That is for a normal rate of cal...

PRICE TAG Our hotel was fabulous...packed full of character.  Our room was very spacious with lots of period features but still functional as a hotel room and the owner was very attentive.  Breakfast was typically Spanish but the room was beautifully dressed and the service was impeccable.  I have recently concluded the hotel bookings for a UK tour next year;  the average room price was £140 and there is a very ordinary hotel on the north Scottish coast that was £240 a room.  The price for our bit of Spanish luxury?  65 quid! I GOTTA GET DRUNK We ventured out to a recommended restaurant which, naturally, was closed at 7pm.  We went to a nearby locals bar for a couple of tintos then crashed the restaurant as it reopened at 8pm, to be told that food wouldn't be available for another half an hour so we had another glass.  I'm not sure how much more of this my liver can take.   EYE OF THE TIGER ...

I have become fond of hiding behind the term 'I've got nothing to prove' but it only works in certain situations.  Had I changed the route for an easier one today I could certainly have excused that with 'I've got nothing to prove'.  Having NOT done that, and finding myself in hilly country with a long way to go, I definitely had things to prove: 1/ That I'm not so stupid as to commit to a ride that is beyond me 2/ That I'm not going to have to spend the night in a ditch on a Spanish hill I did prove point 2 but if you saw the state of me when I got to our hotel I think point 1 is very open for debate.  It was a hard day! But first to finish up on last night's stop. Laying siege to the restaurant proved ineffective.  This obviously wasn't their 1st siege, and they were ready for the us.   In fact, so confident were they in their defences, they didn't serve dinner until EIGHT THIRTY!!!!  The hotel ...

Last night, having been forcibly made to adopt Spanish time, we really struggled for dinner.  Too hungry to wait for 8pm, we set out in search of tapas and failed miserably.  We ended up with a surprisingly good pizza eaten at a plastic table in Telepizza's waiting room. Every hotel we stay at is deserted, often we think we may be the only guests, and there was very little sign of life when we checked in last night.  So we were taken aback to find our breakfast room rammed with wittering Spanish geriatrics this morning.   Our average speed on these trips is always around 12mph.  This is surprisingly consistent regardless of terrain.  Today we managed 14.1.  Anyone who has ever cycle toured will immediately know the explanation...a tailwind!  When you find yourself cruising at 20mph with panniers you know you have a tailwind. It was a mostly lovely ride: very cold to start with but plenty of sun in the morni...