The Pushbike Song

By -

Many of you probably wonder what it is that I see in cycling.  Having spent the first 40+ years of my life thinking that cycling was only for people who couldn't afford proper transport I understand this point view but feel that it is my duty to educate you.  So, 10 reasons why cycling is THE sport for real men with photographic proof:

1/  Cycling is a kit-based sport - men like kit
 
2/  It holds back middle age spread – cyclists are always lean and fit
3/ It is an outdoor sport - you will always have a healthy tan to attract the girls
4/  Cycling is accessible to the masses - even if you cannot afford a decent size car to transport your bike to an event you can always make do
5/  There are competitive events for all tastes  - here is cycloironing
extreme-ironing-05

6/  Cycling is a great way to meet new friends and you will soon become bosom pals
7/ Cycling is fun for all the family


8/  The bicycle is very versatile and can meet all your transport needs
610x.jpg
9/  I mean ALL your transport needs
10/  And finally...you get to wear lycra – cycling is virtually the only sport that allows you to show everyone the fine details of your genitals without being arrested




Of course the big downside of cycling is the danger of being hit by a stupid driver who say 'I just didn't see him'.  But so long as you make yourself and your bike as visible as possible you should be OK!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll/Mr Tamborine Man/I Write The Songs

By -
Image
  After an 18 month separation Plum and I are reforming the band for another tour.  The two of us, plus 6 others, are heading up to Scotlandshire for another crack at the North Cost 500.  I should probably introduce the full line-up:   Lead Singer - David.  David is the young(er) pretty one.....brother of John.  David also happens to be my Financial Adviser and is funding this trip (plus a yacht and a cocaine habit) out of what he makes from my account.   Lead Guitar - Nick.  Friend for 50 years.  At school Nick was a keen cyclist and consequently, quite rightly, bullied.  Nick has forgotten more about cycling than I will ever know.   Bass Guitar - Stuart.  Stuart and I worked together for many years; he has powerful legs and can push out big watts while looking like he is coasting.  I hate Stuart.   Keyboards - Michael.  Michael is also younger but not pretty.  Michael believes that upgrading cycle compone
Read more

If I Could Turn Back Time

By -
Image
If ever you are in the Inverness area on a Friday and looking for a lively night you could do a lot worse than avoid Muir of Ord.  Our hotel, the only pub, wasn't serving food so we walked into town where it appeared that Steven Spielberg had just finished filming some sort of post-apocalypse movie: nothing open, nobody on the streets and the odd bit of tumbleweed blowing along the pavement.  Even the fish and chip shop couldn't be arsed to open...on a FRIDAY NIGHT!  We managed to find a take-away offering a rather odd choice of kebabs and curries (served in pizza boxes for added novelty) and purchased some food which made up for in calories what it lacked in food-hygiene standards.   I recall a meeting where a few of my co-riders and I met to kick around ideas for a group ride.  We considered all sort of destinations....mostly in those parts of Europe where the weather isn't consistently shite.  I'm ashamed to say that I think it was I that th
Read more

Julia's Song

By -
Image
As some readers will know, Plum is no longer Chard's most eligible bachelor.  The lovely Julia has taken on the job that Social Services would otherwise have to do....making sure he changes his pants once a week whether they need it or not and loading routes onto his Garmin.  We are all very grateful to Julia, especially Chards most eligible bachelorettes who can get back on the dating scene now Plum is safely off the market. As we were starting our trip Julia fell, dislocated her foot and broke her Tibia so she is probably missing Plum more than usual. She has insisted that the show should go on so thanks for being such a trooper. Today was another with a shortcut that promised to turn a very hard day into something more manageable.  Some of our group took the high road and others took the low but I had a more cunning idea.....get in the van.  Whatever is ailing me, long covid or acute spinelessness, reached the point where pushing the pedals just w
Read more