Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

After yesterday's dry cycling we were expecting a right spanking today but, in fact, we rode in the dry for all but 20 minutes.  We passed areas where the road had clearly been closed quite recently but we dodged the bullet again. BUT.....we are heading to Townsville which seems to be on the northern edge of  a massive but very localised tropical storm.  I just checked the forecast and Townsville can expect ONE METRE of rain in the next week.  A f@#$ing METRE! We have asked around and the consensus is that we can probably get to Townsville but, once there, may have to wait for a lull in the rain and catch a train south for a couple of hundred miles to the southern edge of the storm.  Bugger. We are staying in Lee's Hotel in Ingham.  The hotel is advertised from 10km out with a hoarding that proudly boasts that it is Australia's only pub with no beer.  We nearly turned round and went back to last night's stop!  It turns out that this is...

The deluge eased at about 9:30 so we set off.  We popped into a gas station for breakfast (sausage rolls) then headed south with wet roads but no actual rain.  6 hours later we are tucked up in our motel STILL DRY.  The lady on reception  reckons this is a miracle on par with the feeding of the 5 thousand. The whole rain thing has started to get a bit more serious than we had anticipated. In 2 days time we will be in a place called Townsville.  Yesterday Townsville got 20cm of rain.....in 2 hours.  The coastal highway, actually THE highway, is under water and completely closed.  The weather system is heading North and the advice is to make sure you have 3 days food in the house.  Bugger. We are not yet sure what this all means for 2 cyclists so, for now,  we will continue  south and see what happens.  We might do a bit of practicing to see how long we can hold our breath  and try to convert our pumps into snorke...

Air travel is pants! This time we had the added stress of 2 very tight  connections, made even tighter because of delays with the preceding flights.  Anyway, we arrived into Cairns at 11pm yesterday after 36 hours of travel and fell into our beds. We woke this morning to the noise of someone having a very loud shower in the room next to ours , or so we thought.  A quick look.out of the window told the real story....someone was emptying olympic swimming pools from the sky.  Jeez it rains here!  After considerable exertion, quite a lot of muttering and many many hours, Neil seems to have most of his crap packed away and his bike almost looks complete so maybe by about Friday we should be on our way!

Well, it has taken 4 months but I am finally ready for another long-distance bike trip!  Last summer's Trans-am really took it out of me and I barely looked at a bike for a couple of months after getting home, but I have been training hard since Christmas and have managed to shed a few pounds in preparation for...........CAIRNS TO BRISBANE. A circumnavigation of Oz has been a work in progress for a while now; having done Brisbane to Adelaide in 2016, and Adelaide to Perth early last year, we are now going to tackle this 1100 mile chunk.  This little cycling 'mini-break' was chosen for no better reason than it fitted the available time and had an airport at each end, though in many respects it is a poor choice since we will be there in the latter part of monsoon season.  Looking at the weather forecasts it seems that rain is a certainty, possible LOTS of it. However, it should be warm rain as the average high seems to be in the high 20's/low 30's. ...

Virginia Plain The riding isn't exactly flat but the terrain is a welcome change from the sodding Appalachians!  Virginia is very pretty and we have enjoyed two 'easy' days. The First Cut Is The Deepest In Kentucky and Virginia approximately 106% of all citizens are engaged in mowing their lawns.  I don't think we have been out of earshot of a lawnmower for over a week.  It occurs to me that the reason they harvest tobacco is because they just think it is a really broad-leaved variety of grass.  Today was Saturday and there  was a mass lawnmowimg frenzy. One More Night Yup.  We hit Yoktown tomorrow.

A nice touch by the Timberlake Motel!  So that is the last tough day done.....84 miles and 5000 feet of climb.  Tomorrow we start our way across the eastern Virginia Plain (if only there was a song for that!).  Our last 3 days are shortish and fairly flat so there is a bit of an end of term feel this evening.  Since our motel is 2.5 miles out of town we may celebrate with a delivery pizza! Get Outlook for Android

We are in the Appalachians, having passed from Kentucky to Virginia to West Virginia and back into Virginia.  This is mining country.....mostly salad vegetables but also some coal.   It is very beautiful but hilly as hell. Typically only a handful of climbs each day, but each with a mile or two at 10% or worse. We even had a twenty percenter the other day! We while away the time by counting churches and for several days now we have been averaging almost 0.5 churches per mile.  Yesterday was a new record - a magnificent 0.6! We think we now have the definitive list of options if you are considering becoming a baptist: Baptist First Baptist United Baptist (clearly a false claim......unless they just mean United against all the other Baptists) Missionary Baptist Regular Baptist Old Regular Baptist (presumably some sort of schism within the Regular Baptists) Slightly irregular, disunited Baptists ( I may have made this on...

I'm Still Standing Hello, it's me.  It is many days since my last confession.  Using an I credibly clever and sophisticated formula that takes account of distance ridden and hills climbed, today has been the hardest of the trip by a country mile.  91 miles and 7000ft since you ask. I am pleased to say that I did it with only moderate whimpering.  We have just 1 more day in Kentucky and fewer than 600 miles to go.  No poultry counting but the end is in sight....... Lets Twist Again .......unless Hurricane Florence has other ideas.  We are trying to make sense of all the weather reports but we still have no idea whether any of our route is now under water.  I suppose, technically, so long as we ride to the edge of the flooding, we have reached the 'coast' (though not where it used to be located). It is certain that we are going to get wet and this appears to start tomorrow, with heavy rain forecast.  Bugger. Tobacco Roa...

The trick when writing a blog is to avoid all contentious subjects: sport, politics, religion. Earlier today we cycled through an area absolutely covered in churches.  At first I was just reflecting on the wide variety of 'flavours' of religion covered by them but then I thought "hang on a minute....what the hell are the Baptists playing at?".  Within less than 20 miles I saw: Baptists Regular Baptists General Baptists Missionary Batists Each had a church a little larger than the Royal Albert Hall. Now, I am sure they all have petty (and mostly imaginary) differences in ideology but this is silly.  There can't possibly be enough Baptists  to fill all these churches so here is an idea..... Why not create an all--embracing Baptist religion? To save time I have got a name.....The Amalgamated Baptist Church (The ABC for short).  This should allow the closure of several churches in each town and the resulting cash windfall and on-goi...

I am still alive but badly behind with the blog!  So: Wed/Thur/Fri - The Man On The Hill We rode through the Ozarks in Missouri.  It was hilly.  To expand: For 300 miles we have been grinding up and down in the sodding Ozarks.  Climbs are seldom more than half a mile and often only a hundred yards but gradiants are up to 15% and there is seldom more than 1 mile between them.  One was 80 miles and 5500 feet of climb! Fri - Mississippi Mud The day was forecast to be wet but we somehow managed to avoid all the showers and finally cleared Missouri by crossing the Mississippi into Chester, Illinois.  The Mississippi drains more than 40% of the USA and is an impressive thing to cross. Chester is the birthplace of Popeye....if cartoon characters have a birth....and it was the weekend of the annual Popeye festival.  Our hotel was full of Popeye fanatics, including some dressed as their favourite characters.  Twats. ...