Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

So, just to wrap things up.  Flight to Auckland done, night in hotel airport done.  Flight(s) to UK later today.  One more night which will be spent at 35000 feet then home. I don't expect much sympathy but for me this trip has been work and I have, in effect, 'worked' 30 days straight.  So it is time for a little R&R .  On March 17th a group of 5 of us - myself, Nick Harris, Keith & Chris Gibbs and Neil Plumridge (my roomie from last year's Specific Coast jaunt)  - fly to Florida for a week of cycling in the sun.  We have a luxury Condom (I think that is the right word) just round the corner from Mickey's house and will do day rides around the wonderfully flat Florida countryside.  It's a hard life :-)

If anyone has endured these witterings since last February they may recall that in Queenstown there was an unfortunate incident involving a very small towel and a locked hostel door. It was with some trepidation that I checked in to the same hostel last night........Would my photo be on the 'banned customers' board? Would Fritz still be trying to lure me into his room? Would I get locked out wearing nothing but a flannel again? The answer was thrice NO. Yes, we are back in Queenstown. Yesterday they all went on a cruise up Milford Sound which, according to the group smart arse, isn't a sound at all but a Fjord. Judging by the photies it was pretty cool and I wish I could have gone. Instead I spent the day hauling bikes and bags back to Queenstown then going back to haul people up the same road. 380 miles in total :-( As an author ( I have decided that writing a blog technically make me a published author!) there is always the risk of writer's block, ...

We were in Mossburn last night and not Murchison as reported in the previous entry. I expect that you have all been busy plotting our progress using a Junior World Atlas and were confused as hell by our apparent leap backwards by about a week. Today was our last day of riding and for crows this required a paltry 35 miles, so my route took a detour to Manipouri just to keep them busy and make it a more manly 50. Despite this they were all done by 1pm. This trip has been about passing through and seeing this incredible country and the end point is somewhat arbitrary; Consequently there were no high fives or other vulgarity but I hope everyone is feeling good about our 3+ week journey of 1200 miles. Packing the bikes seemed to take an age - in some cases longer than others......you know who you are ;-). But, since the sun still has a splendidly large hat on, this was all done in the motel garden and was really just sunbathing with greasy hands. Tomorrow they have an excursio...

Through a mixture of connectivity issues and general laziness there is a bit of catching up to do! In the Middle of the Night  Our stay in the Makarora sheds was great and I think everyone appreciated that the rather basic accommodation was a price worth paying.  Overnight there was heavy rain which fell as snow on the higher ground so we awoke with distant white peaks all around us.  The ride to Wanaka is stunning in any circumstances but with clear skies and the snow-capped mountains it brought a grin to everyone's face. Jessica Everyone was in to Wanaka nice and early and did whatever took their fancy.  I took advantage of a nice hotel room to do exactly nothing but watch awful kiwi television but then...........bloody Norah!!!!   The first episode of the latest Top Gear series.  Oh bliss. Blowin In The Wind On Monday we did the 52 mile ride to Queenstown BUT using the highest paved road in NZ, over the Crown Range.  The ...

If my 'earthquake' blog would have got me an A* at Geography I am about to make an admission that would get an F. Being British, and therefore from the country that founded civilisation, I have become so used to world maps placing Britain in the centre that it hadn't really occurred to me that there was any other presentation. Down Under, despite owing everything to the British the cheeky sods put the Specific in the middle with the great land masses arranged in an arc around the top and sides. To my astonishment (Geography failure coming up), I now see that it would be possible to Cycle from the Cape of Good Hope to Cape Horn with only the very briefest sea voyage across the bearing strait. I have no idea how far this is but I'm betting it is much further than the normal 'round the world' jaunt. So that is my retirement sorted out. Only kidding girls ;-)

Well, OK, actually Makarora. I stayed here last year and the view remains just as fantastic. The southern alps serve to separate the wet west coast from the sunny interior and, sure enough, having cut through the alps using Haast Pass they say it hasn't rained here for over 2 weeks. It better not rain tonight because a) I am camping and b) this is the BEST place for star gazing so I am hoping for clear skies. Tonight the riders are staying in 'cabins' which, as noted before, means sheds. But, cleverly, these are 'A' Frame cabins which gives them a bit of a Swiss chalet look and nobody seems to mind. In any case the views make up for a bit of discomfort. While writing this my last two riders have arrived so it is erection time.

I got the part and all is now well with the fleet. During my chair-based vigil for the postman I spent some time chatting to the manager of my hotel. Until the earthquake he had a thriving cafe in downtown Christchurch. After the earthquake he had the clothes he was wearing and a mobile phone! It seems that the lovely insurance companies exploited every loophole they could find to wriggle out of their obligations and, for private individuals and small businesses, settlements ran at about half what was lost. I clearly still hadn't appreciated the magnitude of the quake or it's impact. In the San Francisco earthquake about 25percent of the building stock was lost. In Christchurch it was 50 percent. The rebuilding cost in SF represented 2.5 percent of the countries GDP but in New Zealand it is estimated at FORTY percent. Quite apart from the buildings actually damaged by the quake there are huge areas where the buildings are fine but the underlying ground has as bee...

It is now Thursday and we are in Fox Glacier but there is still no polar bear on a mint. We are staying in the Bella Vista motel but the vista is only really bella if you can find somewhere to stand with the motel behind you. We have been joined by two more riders plus their partners (who will follow in a car and play tourist) making the group 10 in all. It is a rest day and this afternoon two of the newbies are going sky diving so that is probably the last we will see of them! The rest have gone to look at lakes or hike the glacier or some such, leaving me to wait for a vital part being couriered from Greymouth. Yesterday was mostly filled with driving back to Greymouth to collect an allegedly fixed bike but when we got there we found that the extent of the repair was that they had ordered an unnecessary replacement for a perfectly good part. Electronic gears are still a novelty here and the mechanic had clearly never worked on them so I spent a couple of hours helping him...

Yesterday was a very lovely sunny ride from Westport to Greymouth with classic coastal riding. Today it has rained non-stop (who said 'serves them right'?). To make matters worse, two of my riders had an accident, the first slipping crossing some rail tracks and the second ploughing into the result. One rider was OK with just a few cuts and bruises but the other has taken quite a battering and has a magnificent lump the size of an egg on his upper thigh. His bike has also suffered, with a complete failure of his fancy electronic gears. The bike is now back in Greymouth waiting for parts and I have the joy of a 130 mile round trip tomorrow to collect it. We are staying in Hari Hari which has a pub, a shop, a small rather dated motel and a duck. Here, for rather obvious reasons, is a picture from yesterday.

Sorry for the deluge of blog entries but it is Sunday! The other day I mentioned how nice the kiwi high street is but, since then, I have started to realise that the cancer of the 'global high street' has started to take hold, and in the worst possible way........Subway. There is absolutely nothing wrong with their sandwiches ( as far as I know) and they are tasty and good value BUT the company itself is the work of the devil. I could mention the fact that they employ the very worst kind of minimum wage imbecile; once in a Subway in Merica I was asked where my accent was from. 'England' I explained. 'Wow, England! That's in Paris isn't it?'. Cretin! But that isn't my main beef with Subway. It is all the damn questions. To successfully obtain some food you have to endure an interrogation that makes The Spanish Inquisition seem positively mild. Not only must you choose your length, filling, bread type and cheese type but then you mus...