The Flower Duet*

British Airways once called itself the ‘World’s Favourite Airline’, a claim they justified by carrying more passengers than any other airline.  A bit like saying that rice is the world’s favourite food.  I’m pretty sure that many people sitting down to rice for the 3^rd time that day would gladly swap it for a rib-eye followed by sticky toffee pudding!  BA’s fall from grace has been long and steady and they are now widely regarded as one of the worst of the long-haul carriers.  People like me fly with them because they hold about half the slots at Heathrow and so can offer a wider choice of destinations and departure times than the competition.  By every other metric they are now pretty shite.  My flight was in a tired old plane with a tired old seat, an IFE from the dark ages, a meal I wouldn’t feed to a dog and a crew that looked like they would be happiest if we all just pissed off and died.  I had splashed out on World Traveller Plus which bought me a wider seat with more legroom but, since their economy seats can barely accommodate an Action Man (GI Joe for my readers from the colonies), a 6’ 4” traveller has little choice.  The flight did, at least arrive on time and my luggage was on the same plane (a less common occurrence than you might imagine and reasonably expect) so whoopedy doo!

 

Retrieving baggage, satisfying Homeland Security that I wasn’t coming to work, live or shoot the president and collecting a rental car (a rental 12 seat minibus actually) took almost 2 hours but by 4pm I was strapped into the seat that will be my home for most of the next 6 weeks and heading north.  My van has a 3.5 litre V6 petrol engine which converts petrol into greenhouse gases impressively quickly but it is a nice place to be.  I have stashed all my bits and bobs in the many cubby holes, festooned the windscreen (windshield now) with suction cup brackets and connected my phone to Android Auto (a new best thing that makes sliced bread very last year).  

After 150 miles I was reminded by heavy eyelids that it was really 2am so I stopped for the night in Lost Hills CA.  I'm in a Days Inn, one of half a dozen brands that will cover most of the next 38 nights.  You wouldn't want to honeymoon here but it will do for a simple lad like me.

 

*to get the song connections it is helpful to be an English bloke in his mid-60’s.  I suppose this trip might be attracting a younger and/or more international readership so I’ll help out with the trickier ones here and there.  In the UK this piece of music has been extensively used by BA in their ad campaigns for almost 40 years.