From Russia With Love

By -


So....the elephant in the room....life on the road in the 'new normal'.  It's a bit rubbish.  We have experienced the full range of covid protection measures, from 'laminate a few signs and put out some hand sanitzer' to 'assume that Vladimir Putin is trying to kill you with Novichok'.

At the Novichock end of the spectrum was Detta, our Dutch landlady in Armadale.  She met us in the car park with our disinfected room key held out at arms length in a wooden box.  We let ourselves in and met her in the no man's land between our part of the house and hers.  This doorway had a newly fitted perspex screen, behind which she read out Ze Rules (there were many) designed to thwart the best trained Spetsnaz assassin.  Breakfast (pre-ordered) was delivered to our side of the house through a hatch and we handed back our full slopping out bucket through the same hatch (ok, the bucket bit is made up).  As we left Detta was putting on her hazmat suit and preparing the DDT sprayer.

We are getting used to fishing out a mask before entering every shop, pub and hotel lobby but we are not at all keen on the new breakfast regime where everything is delivered to your table by the waiter.  As any cyclist knows, the buffet breakfast is the greatest thing known to man and out ability to extract maximum value from an inclusive breakfast is severely hampered by the new system.  

Today the dynamic duo parted company.  Our destination could be reached by two routes, one being 27 miles and a sodding great hill more than the other.  I did the obvious and sane thing.....Plum went over the sodding great hill.  As a result of my good sense I am sitting in the pub writing this while Plum is still slogging away on the SGH.  

The big news of the day, and this is going to knock your socks off, is that I don't have anything to complain about.  There was no wind, it didn't rain, the route was lovely, the hills were minimal and the midges even forgot to come out.  Couple all this with the knowledge that Plum is probably half way up a 5 mile 8 percent climb and things couldn't be better.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll/Mr Tamborine Man/I Write The Songs

By -
Image
  After an 18 month separation Plum and I are reforming the band for another tour.  The two of us, plus 6 others, are heading up to Scotlandshire for another crack at the North Cost 500.  I should probably introduce the full line-up:   Lead Singer - David.  David is the young(er) pretty one.....brother of John.  David also happens to be my Financial Adviser and is funding this trip (plus a yacht and a cocaine habit) out of what he makes from my account.   Lead Guitar - Nick.  Friend for 50 years.  At school Nick was a keen cyclist and consequently, quite rightly, bullied.  Nick has forgotten more about cycling than I will ever know.   Bass Guitar - Stuart.  Stuart and I worked together for many years; he has powerful legs and can push out big watts while looking like he is coasting.  I hate Stuart.   Keyboards - Michael.  Michael is a...
Read more

If I Could Turn Back Time

By -
Image
If ever you are in the Inverness area on a Friday and looking for a lively night you could do a lot worse than avoid Muir of Ord.  Our hotel, the only pub, wasn't serving food so we walked into town where it appeared that Steven Spielberg had just finished filming some sort of post-apocalypse movie: nothing open, nobody on the streets and the odd bit of tumbleweed blowing along the pavement.  Even the fish and chip shop couldn't be arsed to open...on a FRIDAY NIGHT!  We managed to find a take-away offering a rather odd choice of kebabs and curries (served in pizza boxes for added novelty) and purchased some food which made up for in calories what it lacked in food-hygiene standards.   I recall a meeting where a few of my co-riders and I met to kick around ideas for a group ride.  We considered all sort of destinations....mostly in those parts of Europe where the weather isn't consistently shite.  I'm ashamed to say that I thin...
Read more

Julia's Song

By -
Image
As some readers will know, Plum is no longer Chard's most eligible bachelor.  The lovely Julia has taken on the job that Social Services would otherwise have to do....making sure he changes his pants once a week whether they need it or not and loading routes onto his Garmin.  We are all very grateful to Julia, especially Chards most eligible bachelorettes who can get back on the dating scene now Plum is safely off the market. As we were starting our trip Julia fell, dislocated her foot and broke her Tibia so she is probably missing Plum more than usual. She has insisted that the show should go on so thanks for being such a trooper. Today was another with a shortcut that promised to turn a very hard day into something more manageable.  Some of our group took the high road and others took the low but I had a more cunning idea.....get in the van.  Whatever is ailing me, long covid or acute spinelessness, reached the point where pushing th...
Read more