Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Virginia Plain The riding isn't exactly flat but the terrain is a welcome change from the sodding Appalachians!  Virginia is very pretty and we have enjoyed two 'easy' days. The First Cut Is The Deepest In Kentucky and Virginia approximately 106% of all citizens are engaged in mowing their lawns.  I don't think we have been out of earshot of a lawnmower for over a week.  It occurs to me that the reason they harvest tobacco is because they just think it is a really broad-leaved variety of grass.  Today was Saturday and there  was a mass lawnmowimg frenzy. One More Night Yup.  We hit Yoktown tomorrow.

A nice touch by the Timberlake Motel!  So that is the last tough day done.....84 miles and 5000 feet of climb.  Tomorrow we start our way across the eastern Virginia Plain (if only there was a song for that!).  Our last 3 days are shortish and fairly flat so there is a bit of an end of term feel this evening.  Since our motel is 2.5 miles out of town we may celebrate with a delivery pizza! Get Outlook for Android

We are in the Appalachians, having passed from Kentucky to Virginia to West Virginia and back into Virginia.  This is mining country.....mostly salad vegetables but also some coal.   It is very beautiful but hilly as hell. Typically only a handful of climbs each day, but each with a mile or two at 10% or worse. We even had a twenty percenter the other day! We while away the time by counting churches and for several days now we have been averaging almost 0.5 churches per mile.  Yesterday was a new record - a magnificent 0.6! We think we now have the definitive list of options if you are considering becoming a baptist: Baptist First Baptist United Baptist (clearly a false claim......unless they just mean United against all the other Baptists) Missionary Baptist Regular Baptist Old Regular Baptist (presumably some sort of schism within the Regular Baptists) Slightly irregular, disunited Baptists ( I may have made this on...

I'm Still Standing Hello, it's me.  It is many days since my last confession.  Using an I credibly clever and sophisticated formula that takes account of distance ridden and hills climbed, today has been the hardest of the trip by a country mile.  91 miles and 7000ft since you ask. I am pleased to say that I did it with only moderate whimpering.  We have just 1 more day in Kentucky and fewer than 600 miles to go.  No poultry counting but the end is in sight....... Lets Twist Again .......unless Hurricane Florence has other ideas.  We are trying to make sense of all the weather reports but we still have no idea whether any of our route is now under water.  I suppose, technically, so long as we ride to the edge of the flooding, we have reached the 'coast' (though not where it used to be located). It is certain that we are going to get wet and this appears to start tomorrow, with heavy rain forecast.  Bugger. Tobacco Roa...

The trick when writing a blog is to avoid all contentious subjects: sport, politics, religion. Earlier today we cycled through an area absolutely covered in churches.  At first I was just reflecting on the wide variety of 'flavours' of religion covered by them but then I thought "hang on a minute....what the hell are the Baptists playing at?".  Within less than 20 miles I saw: Baptists Regular Baptists General Baptists Missionary Batists Each had a church a little larger than the Royal Albert Hall. Now, I am sure they all have petty (and mostly imaginary) differences in ideology but this is silly.  There can't possibly be enough Baptists  to fill all these churches so here is an idea..... Why not create an all--embracing Baptist religion? To save time I have got a name.....The Amalgamated Baptist Church (The ABC for short).  This should allow the closure of several churches in each town and the resulting cash windfall and on-goi...

I am still alive but badly behind with the blog!  So: Wed/Thur/Fri - The Man On The Hill We rode through the Ozarks in Missouri.  It was hilly.  To expand: For 300 miles we have been grinding up and down in the sodding Ozarks.  Climbs are seldom more than half a mile and often only a hundred yards but gradiants are up to 15% and there is seldom more than 1 mile between them.  One was 80 miles and 5500 feet of climb! Fri - Mississippi Mud The day was forecast to be wet but we somehow managed to avoid all the showers and finally cleared Missouri by crossing the Mississippi into Chester, Illinois.  The Mississippi drains more than 40% of the USA and is an impressive thing to cross. Chester is the birthplace of Popeye....if cartoon characters have a birth....and it was the weekend of the annual Popeye festival.  Our hotel was full of Popeye fanatics, including some dressed as their favourite characters.  Twats. ...

Puppy Love So, having tried clickbait I thought I would give the other approach a try......kitten or puppy photos.  This little fella was being offered free by the owner of a little store we stopped in.  I have called him Donald after the King of Merica and he rides in my bar bag.  He isn't toilet trained yet so delving into my bar bag for a boiled sweet now has a little extra frisson of excitement. Simpsons Theme Tune I believe that Bart's home town was called Springfield because it is one of the most common city names and almost all Americans will live near a Sprinfield.  We passed through the Missouri version yesterday - an affluent university town with an excellent 8 mile cycle path that snuck through town along the side of the river. The day was lumpy with an endless series of short sharp climbs.   It was only 53 miles but everyone was glad to finish. Route 66... ....doesn't techically exist anymore but the original route...

Yesterday was our third rest day and the routine is now well established: Morning: breakfast, chain cleaning, pant washing, paperwork, brunch. Afternoon: a visit to a nearby bar to soak up the local culture. Evening:  sleeping it off in a gutter somewhere. We are slightly more than two thirds of the way.  This means we have cycled 2700 miles.....which is a lot...but we still have plenty of work to do and most of the hardest days are still ahead of us in Kentucky.  Today we saddled up and headed out for the next leg.  A few miles down the road we passed into Missouri.....known as the 'show me' state and we are now all tensed for the assault by dogs that is a particularly lovely feature of cycling in this part of the world.  The weather is warm but noticeably more humid and we are promised sporadic thunderstorms for the coming days.  For our 74 miles to Mt Vernon the terrain was typical Missouri - an endless rollercoaster of small h...