Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Most US roads have a shoulder beyond  the white line that offers sanctuary to a cyclist.  These vary between 1 and 6 feet wide and we are happy to ride in them BUT 1/ They are sometimes covered in grit, littered with shredded tyres and the odd nut or bolt. 2/  The surface can be much harsher than the tarmac. When either of these apply we ride the main highway but as close to the white line as we can manage.  This, apparently, is not good enough for the redkneck pickup truck and semi drivers.  They like to drop down a gear, rev the engine to the red line and hurtle past while leaning on the horn.  They do this as a matter of principle and regardless of whether there is anything preventing from them just pulling out round us.  It is making our daily laundry a grizzly business.  Arseholes. Today was short, at just 50 miles, but it included a generous 12 mile 3000 feet climb that got everyone sweating.  We appear to ha...

Sorry for the delay......too much swimming and rehydrating yesterday.  So, lots of tunes to bring you up to date: Ebony and Ivory/Me and My Shadow (double A side) For dinner in Richland we went to the local bar where we met Gregory who, several people insisted, was my 'negative'.  I don't see it myself.  Gregory and his partner were pretty steaming when we arrived and drank with determination throughout the evening while they gave us their life stories and generally talked horeshit.  It was entertaining for the first half hour but became a  bit of an irritation by the end.  The  best laugh of the night came when Mrs Gregory told us, while chugging back her nth Budweiser, that she worked as a drug and alcohol counsellor! Into The Valley Yesterday we rode through the river valleys that lead into and out of Oxbow Lake, sight of a large hydro dam.  It was a scorching day with two tough climbs and everyone was glad to ro...

I am aware that everyone is finding it a tad warm at the moment so I am not expecting much sympathy.......but jeez it's hot!!!  Today we finished at 12:30 by which time it was already in the low 40s centigrade.  Our coping strategy is to hit the road at 7am which gives a couple of hours in the cool but it makes for short nights and I could really use a lie in. Today we have been following the Oregon Trail, the route used by settlers from the east back in the day.  It is impossible to imagine what it must have  been like to take your family and everything you own on a wagon over this terrain.  Thanks to the invention of tarmac and the bicycle we had a considerably easier time and we dusted off our 70 miles in some style. We are staying in Richland, a 1 horse town in the arse end of nowhere, but the best (ok....only) restaurant in town is offering 16oz steaks for a VERY modest sum so dinner is sorted. Tomorrow a new state and a new time z...

We are staying in Sumpter, another 'wild west' town, where the choice for dinner is between the Elkhorn and Mad Dog Saloons.  Our motel is a lively place with our group, a big group of Harley riders and some people who are quad-biking a river trail. Today has been another scorcher, with 3 chunky passes at over 5000ft.  It was a short day and most of us were done by 1pm.  There were only two turns today, both lefts, but one of our group missed the first and the other missed the second.  They both turned up at almost 4pm,  tired but showing few signs of being any the wiser!!  They went straight to the Elkhorn Saloon and had 4 pints each!  Tomorrow morning I am going to show them how to use a Sat-nav and if they get lost again I am going to stick the damn things up their arses.  I am now in the Elkhorn Saloon waiting for my 'ultimate burger'.  Hopes are high.

We have now been on the road for 5 days and things are starting to settle into a rhythm.   We are now taking an early breakfast and hitting the road by 7am which gives us a good couple of hours of cool riding before the sun gets its biggest hat on.  By early afternoon we are all done and glad to hide in the shade and rehydrate (we all know what THAT means). Today was another hot 70 miles but with very few hills and we are now in John Day (population 1735).  John and I have been upgraded to a 2 bedroom suite with a huge lounge and kitchen so we are doing another bbq.   We have loaded up the fridge with sports drinks and purchased some magnificent ribeyes.  Let the feasting begin.

Redmond wasn't anything to shout about but it gave us a comfortable bed and a good dinner.  Very sadly, this morning one of our group decided that the trip wasnt for them so we are now a band of 12.  If you are reading this Dave:  I completely understand your decision but we are going to miss you!!! We have been quietly notifying the rest of the group that someone has decided to leave and the typical, and touching, response has been "ooh, is there a room spare?" Today we saddled up and headed out into cowboy country.  In pretty much every Western I have ever watched there is a scene where a small wagon train trundles through a broad river valley dotted with fir trees while an Indian war party forms up on a rocky escarpement in the distance.  We rode that valley. It remains chuffing hot - today it was nudging 40 again.  The group are starting to wise up and various additional water carrying devices have been procured.  I...

So, last night we got the punters their take-away then retired to our room to have a bbq on our balcony.  We have invested $65 at Wal-Mart on a portable bbq and we can now confirm that it works a treat.  We purchased enough steak for 4 hungry lads........for less than $10 (total, not each) and a good time was had by all.  Today we had to climb over McKenzie Pass, a decent 4000ft/20 mile climb.  We got the climb done before the day got too madly hot and the views from the top of the Three Sisters mountains and the volcanic larva field made the effort worthwhile.  We then enjoyed a nice scream down the other side but the last 20 miles were a bit of a slog and the temperature hit 41 degrees as we rode into town. We are in Redmond, a town with little to commend it beyond the fact that it is in the right place for our route and daily mileage.  Time for a lounge by the pool and a lemonade or 6. Oh yes, the song.  Last night John an...

After 3 days of sodding about we finally got on the road yesterday morning and the adventure is properly under way.  We rode along the side of the Suislaw River, which is very pretty and, once we turned off the main highway, very tranquil.  Florence had been windy and cool but as soon as we were inland it became calm but the temperatures climbed.            Highs were probably in the mid 30's. We finished our day in Eugene, a large town based around the university which was quiet due to the summer recess.  We dined at a Chinese eat-all-you-can buffet......a cyclists favourite.  The trouble is that in Merica we are complete amateurs at eat-all-you-can-eat.  The place was full of 400lb veterans who REALLY know how to get value out of the $12.95 ticket price. Today we rode along the valley that, tomorrow, will culminate in our first mountain pass.  It was a busy highway but with a go...

There is a an old saying that 'No plan survives first contact with the enemy' and this turns out to be true.  On Thursday morning we arrived at the Enterprise depot to collect the support van (which, by the way, was booked a year ago and subsequently  confirmed twice  by phone).  "Ah yes, I see you have booked a compact cargo van" said Jesus (Jesus, it turns out, is alive and well and working in Seattle).  "But I'm afraid we don't rent compact cargo vans".  BUGGER. After much tapping of keyboards and sucking of teeth he announced "we can give you a full size van which, you will be pleased to know, is miles bigger than you need, impossible to park and will only do 13 mpg". So thanks a lot Enterprise, Jesus and all his followers. Since then we have performed feats of super human logistics to relocate 13 people.plus their bikes and bags to Florence on the Oregon coast and performed the ritual dipping rear wheel dipping in th...

Never before have I invested so much time and effort in the preparations for a trip.  The customers have spent a considerable amount of money on their places and will be expecting literally the trip of a lifetime; the responsibility to make sure that this is the case weighs heavily on me. The detailed planning of logistics, route, accommodation etc has consumed many, many weeks of my time and it has only recently dawned on me that my preparations should include a bit of training since I am also riding the whole thing. I took a look through the photos from my 2009 Transamerica ride, just to get in the mood.  Mostly this filled me with excitement BUT I was a bit shocked by the photos of yours truly. They say that wisdom comes with age....well, it is very obvious from the photos that I will be starting a good deal wiser than I was in 2009!  Looking at this photo it seems I will be starting quite a few pounds heavier too.  Fortunately the recent fantastic w...

I was going to post this blog next week but I have just realised that it is the 4th of July, which feels like the perfect moment to launch 'the big one'. When it comes to writing a patriotic song the Yanks know a thing or two.  This particular one is very much on my mind at the moment because of the verse:   "America! America! God shed His grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea"   I rode 'from sea to shining sea' in 2009, a journey that pre-dated this blog but very much started the whole thing with a series of email updates during the journey.   It was on those emails that I started using song titles to introduce each entry, little realising what a rod for my own back I was creating.  The whole trip and experience may not have been life-changing but it was definitely life-affirming, and I had absolutely the best time EVER!   I never imagined t...