Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

Glad to Be Gay Last night we had dinner in the bar & grill attached to the motel, the main attraction being the 4 hour 'happy hour' during which draft beers were 2 for $3! It was a typical hotel bar, gloomy and a bit depressing but.......2 beers for $3!!!!!.  We spent much of the evening chatting to a nice couple but there came a point in the conversation when it became apparent that they assumed we were more than just friends.  We tried to explain things but I don't think they convinced. Happy Talk At the end of the bar was a group of old codgers who were keen to tell anyone who would listen how terrible the place was.  It seems they didn't like the food, the music, the staff.....you get the idea.  After a few questions they conceded that the place used to be excellent but had gone downhill .....about 4 years ago.  There are other bars nearby but it seems that, for 4  years, they have continued to drink there and moan. Wind Beneath My Wi...

For the last two days  I have been studying the local real estate market from my saddle.  Two factors (at least) play a critical part: 1/  countless trillions of elderly Mericans flock here - either permanently to live out their remaining years or for the colder winter months (so-called Snowbirds). 2/  there is a local law that prevents property assets being seized from convicted criminals, even where it us obvious they were purchased with the proceeds of crime. So, on the one hand there is massive demand for property, and on the other hand there are a bunch of drug dealers looking to invest in property. The result is that for many of the last 150 miles we have been cycling past huge developments of apartments, condos, retirement complexes and long-stay hotels.  There are literally thousands of them.  Incidentally 4 out if every 3 seem to have been built by Mr Trump. This is not as ghastly as it sounds.  The developments are 'high end' wit...

Amongst all the idiots I am required to share the road with, I have a particular dislike of the Harley rider.  It is partly their fat middle-aged beardiness, but mainly because their bikes are so f@#$ing silly.  Specifically I object to the noise.  Why is it necessary to make every other road user's ears bleed in order to have fun?  As well as being incredibly loud, they are pathetically slow so you must  listen to them approaching for what feels like days. In fact I can faintly hear one now so we will probably pass it some time on Thursday. In Florida, Harley riders have a new wheeze.  They have fitted powerful stereos....fair enough......but instead of channeling the sound through helmet-mounted headphones they have installed speaker stacks that wouldn't look out of place on stage at a Who concert. Wankers We were on the road by 6:45 this morning and were quickly through some rather grim areas and enjoying the coast road through Miami Beach.  I ...

Well, here we are in Miami.  It was a good flight over on one of Virgin's shiny new 'dreamliner' planes, despite a woeful shortage of engines.  During the flight I watched Sully, the story of the plane that landed on the Hudson - possibly not the perfect subject-matter for in-flight entertainment but a cracking movie! We assembled our bikes in a discreet corner of the arrivals hall and confirmed that all was ok with everything.  My only problem was a Jungle Formula aerosol that had leaked, and many of my possession now smell of Deet. Finding our way out of the airport was fun (if cycling on 5 lane highways is what you enjoy most) but it was only 5 miles to Miami's crappiest motel.  Prices in Miami are high and the anti-europe wankers have caused the exchange rate to worsen to the point where bargain hunting is necessary when selecting accommodation.  On the plus side, the motel is slap opposite Bryson's Irish bar so we did the Merican thing an...

Would you want to carry this lot home from Sainsbury's?  How about hauling it 800 miles round Florida on a bike?  Or 12,000 miles during the course of 2017?  Me neither.....which is why I won't be!  My diet is going well, with 11kg* (about the weight of the goods in the photo) lost since mid-December.  Another way of looking at it is that I have lost the equivalent of ALL the luggage I will be taking to Florida.  I will probably try and lose another 3kg but I'm comfortable with my present weight and can already feel the benefit on my training rides.  I am quite interested in the basic maths of weight loss - the fundamental requirement to consume fewer calories than one burns (a trick that most diet regime's seem to overlook).   While researching this I discovered two vaguely interesting things: 1/  Calories are actually kilocalories.  Yup the Calorie (capital C) is a term invented by the food industry and equals 10...

2017 marks another new phase in my life.  Although still loosely connected with Bike Adventures, I have dramatically cut back on my commitments, leaving me with time to waste.  There is a rumour that several rooms need decorating but I have checked and they all look fine so I can find other ways to spend my time!  I have many plans for filling the year, some loose and some firm, but I have set myself an over-arching goal of cycling 12,000 miles - a nice round 1,000 per month.  My previous best, in 2015, was 10,000 so it is a meaningful raising of the bar, and I don't have a nice 'big mileage' trip to fill February as I did then. Things got off to a slow start but I am now averaging about 200 miles per week and starting to feel stronger and, having lost 9kg, lighter.  The Iron Maiden (turbo trainer) is set up and used when it is too inclement for proper miles and I have invested in new waterproofs so rain is no longer an excuse.  The big miles wi...