Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

‎I am ashamed to admit that I know next to nothing about the unpleasantness that accompanied the unravelling of Yugoslavia. I know there was a war but didn't expect to see any evidence of it and the last 3 days supported this view. But today was different. We cycled through an area that had clearly been the site of a major battle and past house after house that had been completely destroyed or was pock-marked with holes from munitions of all sizes. We then past a memorial to the local brigade who had lost a  ‎ great many men....sobering stuff!! On a lighter note, today the weather went from lovely to chuffing hot. Probably mid-90's in the early afternoon. We had a magnificent 76 to do today, including a ‎big lump at the end, but we were heroic.   We are staying on a big camping resort in the middle of nowhere on an island. To give you some idea of the extortionate price of last night's patch of grass - we have a lovely little cabin with small kitchen and TWO bogs for €12 LE

‎This is the entry I couldn't be bothered to send yesterday. The ride was so-so - we had to sneak past Split which required some busy roads and some sizeable hills - but the weather remains superb and a good time was had by all. Our destination was a campsite just outside Vodice. We arrived at 16:30 to find that the campsite office closed at 13:00 (on a Saturday!) so followed the instruction to pick a pitch and sort it out ‎in the morning. We camped within 10 yards of the sea and it was lovelier than a lovely thing....until the next morning when pompous git told us our pitch had cost €52. Apparently we should have read the price list which was posted in about 6-point font at ankle level in a corner of the window.  Bugger. Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

‎Day 2. Another day of superb scenery and superb weather as we follow the coast northwards. An unexpected bonus so far has been the superb smooth roads. We have hardly seen a pothole since leaving Dubrovnik and the surface has been creamy smooth for most of the way. For lunch we diverted into a small village with a little harbour and lovely beach where I enjoyed a slow beer and a (very) quick swim. The water isn't all that cold but I'm not much of‎ swimmer so I just popped in to tick the box.....oh yes and have a pee. We are now in Omis where we have staved off camping by renting a shed (cabin). We are now enjoying a refreshing sports drink which, in Croatian supermarkets, costs a magnificant 80p/litre‎. We like Croatia! Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

Firstly, the song title was provided by Alan! The connection is that we have noticed that Croatian ladies seem rather blessed in the shirt potato r egion‎. We arrived in Dubrovnik to a perfect day with clear blue skies and a temperature of about 23c and spent a happy 7 hours following the Adriatic coast with wonderful views. The road was somewhat lumpy and carried more traffic than we would like but we all agreed it was a spiffing ride.  ‎My bodged gear change is holding up and all is right with the world. We have already clocked up TWO countries as Bosnia has a curious little spur that cuts through Croatia to the coast. They have built sodding great border control posts but we sailed through with a wave. Last night we stayed in a lovely little hotel in Opuzen. The girl who runs it has a face that could curdle milk but is actually very nice and even gave us a complimentary glass of wine with dinner.   ‎Neil and I are packed and ready for the road so we should be off in an hour or two ;

‎Not a very promising start! Today all we had to do was cycle the 40 miles from my house to Tunbridge Wells, where we meet Knobby and stay the night ready for a sparrow's fart taxi ride to Gatwick. My front mech (too complicated to explain.....it is a quite important bit that changes the gears) has failed and the part is out of stock. Bugger. I have effected a temporary repair using a bit of cut up steel sheet and araldite and it seems to work but as a starting point for a 1600 mile ride it leaves much to be desired.   We have now packed our bikes into boxes and there is just time for a quick sports drink and some tea before an early night. Taxi comes at 4:15 am. Bugger. Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

You will need the band to get the song connection!   It is time for my next cycling adventure and this time I will be joined by Neil (tan fading from NZ) and Knobby (so white he is almost blue).  YES, Knobby is back in the saddle so this is a true Grumpy Old Men production!  We are flying to Dubrovnik on the Croatian Adriatic coast.......and cycling home.  We will follow a mostly coastal route to Venice, then over the Alps to Lake Constance and along the Rhine to the Hook of Holland.  A night ferry to Harwich and a final day of riding back to Essex will take us to 1665 miles ...with some big old hills in the first half. Having looked at the elevation profiles I am a little concerned to note that we have 2 consecutive days with 10,000 feet of climb and a hill that promises a 30% gradient....gulp.   The most splendid thing about this trip is that it takes in no fewer than TEN countries.  In the order in which they are encountered:   Croatia Bosnia Herzegovin Slovenia

I'm in Tuscany.  This is the first outing for a route we developed a couple of years ago and very lovely it is too.  Basically we do a big circle, starting and ending in Pisa through the Tuscan hills, including passing through Florence. So far all is going well - no helicopter call-outs or cardiac arrest's - maybe I shouldn't have sold the company....we seem to be getting the hang of it. A curious feature of Italian life are the 'ladies' who occupy plastic chairs in lay-bys in the most obscure locations to ply their trade.  It so happens that I also sit in a chair in lay-bys and I am making a helpful few extra euros selling my body.   Must go now, a queue is building up!