Grumpy Old Men On Bikes

‎Bob Seger to save you the trouble. Today I was due to cycle through Arnhem but for me it also proved to be a bridge too far. I had seen on last night's forecast that heavy rain and strong winds were due but I hadn't fully appreciated what we were in for. When I woke this morning it was pouring across......no, not down, it was raining horizontally. Bugger. 'Perhaps it might ease' I thought. I looked at the weather forecast. It seems that when the winds get above a certain level  the BBC uses black wind symbols rather than white and, bloody hell, the wind speed started with a FIVE!  T hat is not cycling weather! Bugger.  After a bit of interwebbing a plan emerged: cancel tonight's hotel (not really on the rail network) and book one in Utrecht (a simple 2 train journey). So far so good. It seems  that not all trains allow bikes so my simple 2 train journey became a 4 train epic, starting with a train back to where I was yesterday luchtime. Did I mention BUGGER? At lea...

‎Last night I mislaid my hotel. I set out in search of a bucket of the Colonel's  finest and completely lost my bearings. 'Why didn't you just ask for directions?' I hear you ask. 'Why didn't I make a note of the hotel name?' I reply. 'Wasn't it on the room key?' you counter. 'Yes but I only remembered this when, half an hour later, I got back to my room' I sheepishly admit. Today was a stinker. 20mph winds from the North West.... guess which way I was heading. To make matter even worse there is nothing on the flood plain to act as a wind break except the dykes. Guess where the cycle route mostly runs? Yup, on the top of the dykes. It was 9 hours in the saddle without any breaks other than a pee stop. Tomorrow they are forecasting 30mph winds - that may be too much!! Despite having been on the road for a week now, including 3 days at around 100 miles, I have no leg aches at all. This says much more about the flatness of the terrain than m...

‎So far I have dodged anything more than an odd shower but today it set in for a good old rain. Not torrential but when you are out in it for 75 miles it gets everywhere. A particular problem is the need to be taking route notes and the solution to this is to dictate into my phone. The only problem is that it was cold enough to need gloves but these prevent the use of the touch screen. The solution turned out to be pressing the stop/start record button with my nose. The screen got a bit snotty and I attracted some odd looks but it got the job done! ‎I have scarcely been more than 100 yds from the river all day and have wriggled past Bonn and into Cologne. I am staying in the city centre and fortunately have a room with a radiator and my shoes are slowly drying while emitting an unusual fragrance. The trouble with cycle paths is that, in the wet, they throw up colossal amounts of shit which has  ‎coated my shoes, bike, clothes and pannier. The clothes have been washed and I have loc...

The first song is obvious - I spent the day riding through the Rhine Gorge. The second is a bit more obscure - I ate my lunch in Bacharach.   The challenge ‎today was trying to spot a building on the slopes above the river that wasn't a castle. I must say that personally I find the flatness of the terrain and the fiddliness of the the cycle paths a bit tiresome but the punters will certainly love it!  I am now in Koblenz , a small city at the northern end of the gorge. There seems to be some sort of football match in progress with lots of traffic restrictions and krauts in reflective vests directing traffic ( while looking like they would rather be invading Poland). So far I have had good weather - cool but dry and with mostly favourable winds‎ but this is forecast to change tomorrow. Bugger. Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

‎The Kinks who, by he way, must be one of the most covered bands in history. If you hear a good song it is probably a Kinks cover. Today I have been cycling through one of Germany's major industrial areas. In the UK we don't make anything anymore so it is an even bigger surprise to see a country with colossal manufacturing plants.  I have been past the Mercedes plant that produces all their A and B class vehicles and was impressed but then I got to the BASF facility. To give you some idea, I cycled beside BASF buildings for over 3 MILES! That is a hell of a lot of C60 cassettes (if you get this one you are officially old). It was a taxing day - 100 miles including two cities and several major towns and the detailed route documentation really slows things down.  I started at 8, finished at 5 and was in the saddle for all but 10 minutes.‎   Time for sports drink! Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

OK, actually one river to cross many times but finding these songs isn't easy you know! I lost count of the number of times I crossed the Rhine between Germany and France today. Three times by ferry and at least twice by bridge. B‎y the end of the day I didn't know if I was arrivant or gehen.   It was a long day - 99 miles by the time I finished, but flat in a way that is difficult to describe. Kansas was positively lumpy in comparison.  ‎I have ridden almost entirely on cycle paths or cycle lanes and the cycle path network here is 'joined up', well signed and with excellent surfaces. Frankly we are just playing at it in the UK. I'm now in Karlsruhe - a sizeable city - and I crossed from one side to the other without riding on a single road. Not one.    Tomorrow I am scheduled to do 95 but this will probably end up well into triple digits. Gulp. Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

‎I arrived into Basel airport which is interesting (I use the term very loosely) in that it serves both Switzerland and France. At the exit you must choose whether you would like clocks and rules or armpit hair and shrugs and take the appropriate door. I chose armpit hair. I had a lovely 65 mile ride, all but 7 on cycle paths,‎ and the rain held off. For my last 15 I crossed the Rhine into Germany. It is very odd, there is absolutely no indication that there is a war on! The invasion of New Zealand might as well not be happening! If you look hard there are clues - very few people of conscription age and no camper vans (all off fighting at the front you see).   I am staying in Rust, home of the Europark ‎- a sodding great theme park with loads of rollercoasters. To my surprise the hotel staff speak little English so we had a great game of charades over breakfast this morning.   Today I have 85 miles to do so I had better get cracking. Sent from my BlackBerry...

Last summer I started to research the new Bike Adventures' route along the Rhine.   I had limited time and only got as far as Strasbourg and, even then, the last 70 miles proved unsuitable and needs re-doing.   It is time to finish the job so I am heading back to Basel to ride the 600 miles to The Hook of Holland. My itinerary is fixed with pre-booked hotels and I must average 75 miles per day - a relatively easy pace given the flat terrain but I have to document every junction and turn which really slows progress. The weather forecast look decidedly iffy so I am keeping everything crossed. I am currently overnighting at the Lenny Henry Inn at Gatwick North - they have really polished their act and this is a smart modern hotel just a few yards from the check-in desks and all for under fifty quid. They even do a breakfast from 5am which will help prepare me for the scrum that is Easyjet check-in.