Blitzkrieg Bop

By -

The canny Germans have learnt a thing or two since the last unpleasantness.  Lightning war using Panzer divisions is great for gaining ground but does rather draw attention and eventually we Brits turn up a give them a slap.  So, for their invasion of NZ, they are using ground troops disguised as backpackers and tanks disguised as camper vans.  It is going pretty well; they have a firm hold on all major towns and the Kiwis don't even seem to have noticed yet.  Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many Krauts there are here.

Brand New Day (or any other song by Sting)

NZ's only response to the invasion has been to mobilise an army (air force?) of killer bees and wasps.  They have recruited a good number and their killing skills are second to none but there have been some nasty. Friendly-fire incidents.  Yesterday a wasp stung me on the hand and It hurt like hurty thing.  My left hand now looks like a bunch of bananas.

We Are Family

Our first 80 day went well with only two sodding great hills and we were in Murchison by 4pm.  We are staying in a hostel run by friends of Neil and were guests of honour at a very nice meal with them and some of their friends.  It was nice to be treated like family and the food was excellent.

Today our '80' mile day turns out to be 87.  Gulp.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll/Mr Tamborine Man/I Write The Songs

By -
Image
  After an 18 month separation Plum and I are reforming the band for another tour.  The two of us, plus 6 others, are heading up to Scotlandshire for another crack at the North Cost 500.  I should probably introduce the full line-up:   Lead Singer - David.  David is the young(er) pretty one.....brother of John.  David also happens to be my Financial Adviser and is funding this trip (plus a yacht and a cocaine habit) out of what he makes from my account.   Lead Guitar - Nick.  Friend for 50 years.  At school Nick was a keen cyclist and consequently, quite rightly, bullied.  Nick has forgotten more about cycling than I will ever know.   Bass Guitar - Stuart.  Stuart and I worked together for many years; he has powerful legs and can push out big watts while looking like he is coasting.  I hate Stuart.   Keyboards - Michael.  Michael is a...
Read more

If I Could Turn Back Time

By -
Image
If ever you are in the Inverness area on a Friday and looking for a lively night you could do a lot worse than avoid Muir of Ord.  Our hotel, the only pub, wasn't serving food so we walked into town where it appeared that Steven Spielberg had just finished filming some sort of post-apocalypse movie: nothing open, nobody on the streets and the odd bit of tumbleweed blowing along the pavement.  Even the fish and chip shop couldn't be arsed to open...on a FRIDAY NIGHT!  We managed to find a take-away offering a rather odd choice of kebabs and curries (served in pizza boxes for added novelty) and purchased some food which made up for in calories what it lacked in food-hygiene standards.   I recall a meeting where a few of my co-riders and I met to kick around ideas for a group ride.  We considered all sort of destinations....mostly in those parts of Europe where the weather isn't consistently shite.  I'm ashamed to say that I thin...
Read more

Julia's Song

By -
Image
As some readers will know, Plum is no longer Chard's most eligible bachelor.  The lovely Julia has taken on the job that Social Services would otherwise have to do....making sure he changes his pants once a week whether they need it or not and loading routes onto his Garmin.  We are all very grateful to Julia, especially Chards most eligible bachelorettes who can get back on the dating scene now Plum is safely off the market. As we were starting our trip Julia fell, dislocated her foot and broke her Tibia so she is probably missing Plum more than usual. She has insisted that the show should go on so thanks for being such a trooper. Today was another with a shortcut that promised to turn a very hard day into something more manageable.  Some of our group took the high road and others took the low but I had a more cunning idea.....get in the van.  Whatever is ailing me, long covid or acute spinelessness, reached the point where pushing th...
Read more